Finally Together

Chapter Nineteen

Khadijah's POV

"I need somebody to vent to," I told Kiana.

"Go ahead," She said.

"He's just so damn frustrating," I complained. I was obviously talking about Chris.

"What happened this time?" She asked.

"He's always changing his mind! One day, he asked me to live together. The next day, when I was in Cali to visit him, he was like actually never mind. Then, the next day, when he were at the airport, he said forget what I said yesterday. I don't know what he wants. He doesn't even know what be wants! At first I wanted to move there but now, I'm not sure."

"Then, just stay here in Chicago," Kiana suggested.

"No, I don't like long distance," I replied.

"What about moving to L.A but now with Chris? Get your own place."

"It's too expensive over there. It'll take my months maybe even a few years to save up enough money to actually live there by myself," I answered.

"Well, damn. Ion what to tell you anymore. I'm all out of ideas."

"What would you do if you were in my shoes?" I questioned.

"Honestly, I would leave his ass. It's hard dealin' with a nigga who can't make up his mind and I wouldn't wanna do it."

"I can't do that," I said, quickly. "I love him and he loves me. We're in love."

We have lots of bumps in our relationship. I question if we are right for eachother a lot. It hard to explain, but it's like he has a hold on me. Almost as if he put a spell on me. Even with everything we been through, I still love him. I'm so upset at him right now, but my love isn't going to waiver.

"Girl, you sound delusional. Chris obviously must not be that deep in love if he's cheating on you."

"Me and him talked about and he's not cheating so stop saying that," I retorted.

"Mhm. If you really believe that he's your true love or whatever then move in with him. If you and him are meant to be, it'll work out, right?"

"Thats a huge gamble," I stated, chewing on my lip.

This has to be the most important decision I've ever had to make. If I move over there that's means a new city, a new job, and new friends. I wanted to move there but then I didn't and now I'm torn in half.

"Look at like this. You said yourself that you don't like long distance relationships. If you were in one, there's probably like a 100% chance that ya' would break up, right?"

"Right."

"Well, if you move over there, then there's only a 50% chance that ya' would break up which is better," Kiana said.

"And what if I'm unlucky and we break up? Then, I stuck living with my ex-boyfriend. Unless he kicks me out."

"All I'm sayin' is that sometimes, you should take a risk."

"Thanks for the advice Kiki," I said, using her nickname.

"No problem. You know what you finna do?"

"Not yet, but I'll decide soon. Alright so, I'll talk to you later."

I hung up and threw my phone to the side. I sat on couch for some minutes, staring at the ceiling. I was trying to make a choice. Kiana's words were stuck in my head. Sometimes you should take a risk. Should I really? I am not a risk-tasker. I like to do what's logical and makes the most sense. And where has that gotten me? A small Chicago apartment where I spend my time hating my job and complaining about my boyfriend. Maybe I need to stop thinking with my brain and start thinking with my heart. This might be my only chance to actually get out of this city and make myself happy. I know what I'm going to do now.