Living with Styles

thirty-one

I wake up to a white ceiling. I look around without moving my body and realize I'm in a hospital.

Why am I in a hospital?

I lift my head to see a doctor and a nurse conversing, saying something about a car crash.

What happened after my grandparents' funeral? I can't remember anything.

"How long have I been out?" I ask the doctor.

She's a tall, thin woman with dark skin. Her hair is very long and black and is in perfect waves. She wears a gold name tag that says: Dr. Neha Brown.

"About a week." The doctor replies.

A week? That's a long time.

Then it hits me.

What if this was all a dream?

What if I had dreamed all that has happened in these past 6 months while I was in a week long coma? And none of it really happened?

What if my mother is still alive.

What if my brother didn't really come back.

I sit up in the hospital bed. "Where's my mother?"

Dr. Neha's eyes get wide and she looks a little taken aback.

She whispers to the nurse, but I can still hear what she's saying.

"Mother? What mother? Was there a mother in the car that the police couldn't get out? Check her records." The doctor asks the nurse worriedly.

The nurse's voice is quieter, so I can't understand her response.

Finally, Dr. Neha takes a deep breath.

"Ms. Styles-"

"Call me Bella." I cut her off.

She purses her lips. "Right. Bella, your mother passed away in a severe car accident about 6 months ago. We're very sorry."

I breath a sigh of relief. Not that my mom is dead, just that Harry is here and all those events really did take place.

"Where's my brother?" I ask Dr. Neha.

She takes another deep breath. "He's in a coma. He has been for a week. Though, he didn't look as good as you. His chances are slim."

His chances are slim.

What do you mean his chances are slim?

His chances of living?

He can't die. He won't die.

"I need to see him." I start to pull at my IV chord in my wrist. "Now."

"I'm afraid that can't happen, right now. Harold isn't in a good enough state for visitors." Dr. Neha tries to stop me.

"You don't understand. I need to see him. He's all I have left."

I've finally admitted it. After all these months of telling him that I had nothing left, I was wrong. I have Harry, and he must've known I would have to realize that one way or another. That's why he stayed with me. That's why he didn't just leave me alone on the streets.

"Ms. Styles-"

"Help me get this thing out!" I order, pulling at my IV.

"Ms. Styles, this is completely inappropriate-"

"Doctor, I understand that you have rules, but sometimes they need to be broken for our loved ones. My father died when I was a baby. I watched my mother die 6 months ago. My grandparents just died. I have nobody else. I need to see Harry. He's all I have left and I can't let him die on me."

The doctor sighs, but reluctantly takes out my IV and leads me to Harry's room next door.

He's lying on the hospital bed with his eyes completely shut. His chest moves up and down slowly, but enough to see that he's alive.

"Harry!" I run over to the side of his bed, tears are streaming down my face. I grab his large hand in my small one and start pouring out all of my feelings. "Harry, I know I said I'd never forgive you, but I do, okay? I forgive you. I know I said some things that made you think I hated you, which I did, but I don't anymore. I don't hate you. You're my brother. You're my family. I'm sorry for all the stupid remarks and harsh words. I'm sorry I hated you. I'm sorry for shutting you out when all you tried to do was help. I'm sorry for making everything your fault. Nothing was your fault. If anything was anybody's fault, it's mine. It's all my fault. And it's all my fault that this happened to you. I'm so sorry, Harry. I know I said that I had nothing left. That I had no one. But that's a lie. I have you. I can see now that you care about me. You care a lot about me. I know you loved mom and you only left because you were scared. I'm sorry all this happened. You're the only one I have left. You can't die on me now. You won't die on me now, okay? You won't die because I love you. I love you, Harry. You're my big brother, whether I like it or not. So, please, please stay with me. I love you." The tears stream harder down my cheeks and I choke on my words.

I can hear people talking outside and I can tell Dr. Neha is watching me through a large window.

The door opens. "Ms. Styles, your time is up. He needs rest and can't have visitors anymore," Dr. Neha says quietly.

"Needs rest? He's in a coma. He's getting all the rest he's ever needed. I have to stay with him. He has to stay alive." I say with my voice loud and firm.

"And we're doing our best to make that happen, but we can't promise anything, Ms. Styles. Now, I suggest you leave before I have to call security." The doctor motions for me to go through the door.

I wipe the tears from my face and stand up.

"No, I'm not leaving. I'm staying right here, by his side." I plant my feet firmly on the ground.

"Ms. Styles, I really don't want to call the security guard and have you taken to the 'special' room."

"Then don't. Simple as that. I'm not leaving."

Dr. Neha takes the chorded phone and dials some numbers. She says some things I don't really understand and soon enough, there is a security guard at the door.

"Ms. Styles, I think you should leave this room immediately." The man says, his gray mustache wiggling with every word.

I reluctantly walk out of the room, not wanting to get into any more trouble.

I stand outside the room, looking through the large, glass window.

I watch as Dr. Neha moves a blue curtain across the window, blocking my entire view of Harry.

Harry, my brother.

Harry, the only person that I have left.

Harry, my only loved one.