Living with Styles

sixteen

I awake in my bed, still in the damp clothes I wore last night.

"Ah, you're up." Harry says, sitting in the circular chair in the corner of my room.

"H-how did I get here?" I stutter, looking around at the light pink, poster-covered walls, knowing all too well that I fell asleep in a cemetery last night.

"I carried you." He smirks.

He carried me?

Did Perrie pick me up from the graveyard and bring me home? What happened last night?

"Did you have fun at Perrie's?" He says slyly.

Why is he acting so suspicious?

"Uh, yeah. Lots of fun." I lie.

"Ha!" He stands up and points a ringed finger at me. "You're a dirty liar. I know you didn't go out with Perrie. You went to the cemetery. Alone."

How could he possibly know?

I decide it's no use in lying, so I just go along with it.

"Okay, so what?" I sit up in my bed

"So what? Bel-" he catches himself. "Isabella. Do you know how dangerous that is? You could've died." He snaps. "That lighting could've easily struck you, or some crazy guy could've easily taken you away."

Died. In a cemetery. Oh, the irony.

"Whatever." I get out of bed and start walking out of the room.

"Whatever?!" Harry says loudly. "Whatever?!"

I turn around to look at him. He's about 3 feet away from me. His face looks angry, but his eyes are sorrowful.

"Isabella Styles! This is not a 'whatever.' This is completely inappropriate behavior!" He almost yells. "When Perrie said you weren't with her, I was worried sick! I didn't have the slightest idea as to where you were! You can't just go off on your own in the middle of a storm and fall asleep in a graveyard! I had to drive out there at 2:00 in the morning just to pick you up and bring you home!" He sounds like my mother used to, when I did something stupid.

Tears brim my eyes. "I-I-I just wanted to talk to mom." I reply in between sniffs. "I'm sorry." I burst out into tears.

"I understand, but you just can't do that! It's not safe!" He's standing quite close to me now.

"It's not like you care!" I push him away. "And you don't understand at all."

"Of course I care, Bella. You must be insane if you think I don't care."

"I'm not insane, Harry. You left."

"I thought we were past that!" He throws his arms into the air.

"We will never get past that, Harry."

-

*Harry's POV*

We will never get past that, Harry.

I sigh and sit down on the couch. I flip through the channels. After 13 years, I'm not used to all these American shows.

She still hates me. She'll never stop hating me. Ever.

But you know what I don't get? Every time someone tries to comfort her by saying things like, 'I understand' or 'Everything will be okay' she just pushes them away. She says stuff like, 'You don't understand' and 'Nothing's gonna be okay.'

I finally decide on an episode of Spongebob, because there's literally nothing else on.

I lay down horizontally on the small couch and rest my head on a soft pillow that smells like perfume.

My eyes get heavy and I start to doze off.

-
I wake up and get off the couch.

I had another dream about my mother. I decide to try what Bella did last night, talk to her.

"Mom?" I call. "Mom, I'm sorry I left. I am so-"

"Harry?" Bella steps out of her room. "What are you doing?"

"I-I, uh," I must look insane. "I was just- y'know what? Never mind. Shouldn't you be in bed?" I make something up.

"It's only 7:30." She snaps.

I slept the entire day.

"Okay, well what are you doing in your room?" I look past her inside of the light pink room. There's a laptop seated on the bed, as well as the pictures from the box.

She puts a firm hand to my chest and pushes me back. "None of your business." She clenches her jaw.

"Um, yes, it is my business, Isabella."

"What's the matter with you?!" She snaps, almost yelling. "You're acting so parental all of a sudden."

I thought back to last night. How scared I was when Perrie told me she wasn't there. I thought she-

I thought she ran away.

Like I did.

Bella is my responsibility now. I can't let her go. It's been thirteen years, but she's still my sister.

I would of come back from England, but I didn't have a reason to. Until mom died. I thought if I just came back after 5 years, they would just hate me.

But when mom died, I thought Bella wouldn't hate me anymore, because I'm all she has left.

But she doesn't seem to think so.

It seems as though she feels like she has nothing. Like she has no one.

"I don't want to lose you, Bella. You're my responsibility." I finally reply.

"Lose me!?" She snaps again. "Lose me?! Harold, you wouldn't care if you 'lost me.'"

"But I would. Bella, I under-"

"No." She says firmly as she blows air from her small nose. "No. How many times have I told you. You don't understand. Nobody does. Nobody ever will." She puts her head in her hands.

"Bel-"

"I watched my own mother die!" She blurts out, but quickly looks back down at the floor.

She slams the door and I stand there, shocked, confused, and a bit worried.

I realize that I actually have no idea what happened three and a half months ago, on the night of my mother's death. But I plan to find out. I need to get it out of Bella somehow. So I can really, truly understand.

~

I have dance recital today yayy :)

-Anna xo