My Hero Academia: Oneshots

☁️The Big 3: Tamaki's Thoughts

Becoming a top hero student... What good is all his hard work if he has nobody to share it with?

He always walks home this way. The thought has never occurred to him before. He overlooks the river from his vantage on the high bridge. He pulls a coin from his pocket and tosses it over the edge, the splash inaudible from his distance above.

'Worthless...'  He thinks. 'Why does someone like me even exist? ...Would the world be better off without me?'

Tamaki always behaves and talks like he hates the world. But he doesn't really. It just appears that way because he gets so easily overwhelmed by anxiety and stressful interactions. In actuality, he believes the world is a beautiful place. ...A beautiful place in which he doesn't belong. Someone like him simply doesn't fit among passionate people who live with purpose.

'Would I even be missed?'

He peers over the edge. 'It would be swift and painless.'

What a thought to have! He knew he wouldn't do it... probably... He's too much of a chicken. Everyone knows that. 'But what if I could prove them wrong-'

"Tamaki!" Mirio's cheerful voice snaps him back to reality. There he and Nejire come, bouncing up the sidewalk as per usual. He grimaces. Tamaki really doesn't want to see her right now. He doesn't respond to their call short of an aloof wave in their direction.

"Are you looking at ducks or something?" Hado bends over the rail Tamaki had been leaning on. "Oh my gosh! Why are you crying?!"

Tamaki wipes his eyes with a sleeve. Even he hadn't noticed when that happened. "I'm not..." He mumbles quietly.

"Tell us what's wrong, buddy." Mirio's heavy warm hand graces Tamaki's shoulder. He stays silent.

"Is it something we did?" Hado asks. Amajiki briefly wonders how she has the audacity to ask that. With one single glance, the question is answered. "Wh- what did we do?" After Tamaki's deep self-reflection, he has an answer she doesn't expect.

"Nothing. It's my fault anyways..." He turns his back to them, the same self-depreciating words eating at his heart. "I'm such a burden to be around so I can't blame you for disliking me." Mirio and Nejire look at each other in silence.

"Where is this coming from, Tamaki?"

"This morning you said I was mean and..."

"Oh, Tamaki. That was just a joke." Nejire defends, replaying the events the way she remembers them. "I was just grumpy because you were being pessimistic about our plans tonight." He doesn't look up.

"And then you told some of the kids in 1-A that I don't enjoy things..."

"I-" Even when she had said it, she knew that was going a bit too far.

"And I realized you were right..."

"Tamaki..."

"You and Mirio have this natural drive that leads you. I... don't have that and..." He pauses to keep his voice from breaking. "I'm... a downer to people like you... and I'm..." He isn't able to restrain his lips from quivering. "...sorry." He finally looks up to meet her gaze to see her shining eyes swimming with tears.

"Tamaki... you don't really believe that, do you?" The pang of guilt in her heart is overwhelming when her beloved friend's face reveals the answer once more.

"That's not true, buddy." Mirio says solemnly.

"Yeah, Tamaki. I was just placating one of the younger students... I didn't think about how it would make you feel and... that was wrong of me." She takes a step forward and takes his hands in her own. "This is my fault, Tamaki, not yours. I haven't done a good enough job of making you feel appreciated. What a terrible friend I am..."

"Nejire..." Tamaki raises his head as Hado's tears begin to stream down her face.

"I've been feeling down a lot too recently... that's probably why I lashed out. But I never meant to hurt you, Tamaki."

"We need you to keep us grounded." Mirio adds. "And you're always honest so we know we can count on you for anything."

"I guess..." He feels Nejire's hands grip his tighter in a futile attempt to find her lost words.

"We all need kind words sometimes." Mirio helps her nonverbal plea. "That's why we are friends. We look out for one another." Tamaki's sad eyes meet Nejire's and he regrets being so selfish and neglecting her feelings.

"I... can try to do better..." But she can't stand another second of his self-devaluing.

"We could be that for each other, Tamaki!" She prays her sincerity will get through to him. All he does is nod, but it's more than enough of an invitation for Hado. She leaps forward, throwing herself against him. The emotion overpowers them both and they sob in each other's arms. "Please forgive me." She buries her face in his shoulder. "I never want you to feel that way, Tamaki. I need you in my life."

"I need you too." He utters honestly. Shortly after, they both feel Mirio's big bear-like embrace around their shoulders. Even when his squeezing depletes their oxygen supply, they still can't help but smile.

------------------

Tamaki's friends walk him home, trading comforting words and touches along the way. Holding Nejire's hand, he can feel her soft long hair brush against his skin when the wind blows, as well as Mirio's warm arm draped over his shoulder.

He realizes something. Living is hard, but it's hard for everybody. Even the brightest people he knows still need encouragement sometimes. And even though he can feel down or inadequate, his friends never fail to reassure him. They see something deep within him that he can't see. Perhaps one day he will be able to see it too. But either way, when wonderful people like them need his support, Tamaki resolves to always be there for them.

'If that isn't a good enough purpose, I don't know what is...' 

You should always let your friends know how much they mean to you.

Sorry I went so dark here. Figured I'd get these feelings out on paper. But I promise I'll be back into the swing of comedic indulgent garbage soon enough.