My Hero Academia: Oneshots

☁️The Big 3: Tamaki's Thoughts

Here, @Th3MelThatFell, reap the harvest of the seed you planted.

Perhaps I adore him because he's adorable. But perhaps there's a deeper reason that Amajiki sticks in the back of my mind. 

Description: Tamaki contemplates the meaning of his life. 

The writer's voice as told through Tamaki Amajiki. 

'"Mean" she said. That's what Nejire called me...'  Well, that just seems completely unfair. The word mean implies malicious intent wherein this situation, there was none. He would never go out of his way to hurt anyone.

Tamaki admits to being an overall boring person, even somewhat of a burden at times. But none of those times, to his recollection, did he actually attempt to hurt someone on purpose. Those closest to him knew his sense of humor was dry, or that his honesty occasionally pushed the boundaries of tact. However, his words were almost always well-meant.

'What does well-meant mean anyway? Do I only do nice things for show? Am I really hero material or am I just fooling myself?'

"He doesn't enjoy things."

That was the detonator in his brain waiting to erupt and rot him from within. Perhaps that statement was made in jest. But what if it wasn't? 'Is that what people really think of me? Does my demeanor come off as joyless to others?'

'Is the way I think... wrong?'  He questions. It resonates with him over and over like a bell in his head, and he can't get it to stop. Granted, he doesn't possess the same level of passion for things that bubbly bright people like Mirio and Nejire have, but that can't mean he doesn't enjoy things, right?

Come to think of it, he can't recall any particular thing he took that level of interest in during his lifetime. He would go through phases, as he assumed normal people did, picking up new things as they came his way. For a while he would dabble in a musical instrument, or find himself lost in a good series of books. However, when the hype would ebb, he would default to his baseline logical setting.

Is complacent a good word for it? No. That word always has a negative connotation tied to it. He thinks content would be a better word to describe his time between phases. But it is certainly evident that he doesn't share a lifelong driving purpose that he sees in most, if not all, other people he's met.

Where is his driving purpose? Does he not have one? Is there a facet of his personality missing that should be present in everyone?

Is it not enough to casually enjoy life? To dabble from interest to interest like a butterfly flitting between flowers? 'Maybe butterflies only get away with it because of how bright and pretty they are...'

'Should I be obsessed with something over the course of my entire life like everybody else?'

He knew being a hero is what he wanted. He truly sought a way to help people. Up until now, he believed his motivations were steadfast and true. However, he always knew that sunny individuals like Mirio or his kohai, Kirishima, were destined to shine more brightly than him. It was a fact he'd come to accept long ago, and he was okay with it. 'Should I... not be okay with it? Everyone else is always vying for the top spot. To be the very best. I don't have that though... I only got to be where I am today because of the help and support of others. Is there something MISSING in me?'

He ponders the words his mother once taught him. She believed that to dabble in multiple interests was very reminiscent of a Renaissance virtuoso. That someone interested in everything from music to literature to art to science and justice was one to be admired. But right now, Tamaki doesn't feel admired at all. He is isolated, estranged from those he once thought loved him.