Zarry One Shots ✔

A Razor to Our Hearts

Awolnation

Maybe I should cry for help

Maybe I should kill myself

...

Maybe I'm a different breed

Maybe I'm not listening

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"See. This is my favorite because it's got purple Polka dots. I painted it." Zayn held out a box to Harry with a purple polka dotted razorblade on top. " I painted all of these too."

Harry took the box and looked inside. "Wow. Colorful."

It was much like the opposite of their lives really. Their, as what they defined as, meaningless, boring, worthless lives. The only time Harry only felt any color in his life was when he was with Zayn... Because Zayn shared his same interest in his favorite hobby. Cutting their wrists. Harry didn't know how he got into it. Maybe it was because his parents were always drinking and putting him last. He wasn't sure if it was just to get away from all of that. He just knew that he was like that.

On the other hand, Zayn had a hard time growing up. Between being bullied at school and being verbally and physically abused by his now deceased father, he had a lot going on in his young mind, things no 18 year old should ever have.

Deep down inside, they knew it wasn't good. It was just something about watching the silver and sometimes polka dotted razor blade slide across their skin. Watching the blood spill out and not doing anything to stop it. It was like their drug. And they liked to do it together.

Of course they were both seeing a psychiatrist. But they didn't think either of their parents sent them because they really cared for them. Harry's parents got called up to the school when the teacher noticed his wrists one day. She'd had been concerned by his behavior prior to that but seeing those cuts was what moved her to action. That afternoon, she pleaded with his parents to het him help. So they reluctantly found Dr. Schwartz who later became one of Harry's favorite people.

In fact, he met Zayn through Dr. Schwartz.

Harry had been waiting for Dr. Schwartz to finish with the patient he was meeting with so he could meet with him next. When his patient finally came out, Harry went in. But when he came back out, that patient was still waiting. Naturally, Harry asked why and that patient stood up with a smile on his face.

"Hi. I'm Zayn. I was waiting for you. Dr Schwartz said I should find a friend shares my interests so that I don't get so overwhelmed by people."

"Uh..."

"I cut myself. So do you." Zayn said, noticing Harry's confused look.

But that only made him more confused because he was sure Dr. Schwartz was referring to someone who shared positive interests. Not deadly ones. But nevertheless, he found Zayn intriguing and he went with it.

So that's basically how their relationship started.

Communication was something neither of them were good at. In fact, they were awful at it. Later down the road when they wanted to tell each other how they felt, they couldn't. All they did was share a kiss. It was long, meaningful and a tad bit sloppy, but they found no words to express to each other after that. It was just an awkward silence and a whole lot of "I'm sorry".

They never found the kiss weird though. They still hung out. They still cut themselves together. And they still did everything they had always done. Those awkward moments only came when they'd look at each other and end up snogging then pulling away before anyone got wandering hands. Then like all the other times, they would pretend it never happened.