Zarry One Shots ✔

Smoke (Part 2/2)

Circles. Those damn circles they kept running in... It was the hardest thing to make up their minds and decide it all needed to stop.

Zayn knew Harry was drifting. He knew the more the two of them danced around that secret, Harry was going to be turned off more and more. He'd seen it coming. Harry had always been the type to thrive on the real things. He couldn't believe in what he couldn't see. He needed something tangible.

And even though Zayn was there all the time, to Harry, he was not tangible. He was just like the wind. He always came back around, but he never stayed. And even when he was there, it wasn't like anybody could or would ever catch the wind. And Harry didn't like living that way.

Weirdly enough though, despite Harry despising even the idea of sharing Zayn, he just could not let him go either. Therefore he tried in all the little things to let him know he cared; so he'd have no reason to leave. There were those times during concerts where whether Zayn was thirsty or not, he'd run and hop over the rails for- more like beat Zayn over to- the stash of water bottles and get one for him before Zayn could get it himself. And sometimes, when he was feeling extra nice, he would even open it as if Zayn were royalty... or as if his hands had magically become broken and he somehow wasn't possibly, at all, capable of getting it himself. Nevertheless, he loved doing that. He loved being waterboy for him. That's why he did it.

Except the outcome wasn't like he thought it would be.

None of those small things he did stopped the touches or the kisses from fading over time. It didn't stop anything they ever shared from dwindling down. And it was becoming like the X Factor days when Zayn didn't know Harry from any of the other boys and Harry didn't know Zayn from the other boys. They were like strangers. Strangers and lovers and that flame that was once so high and too hot to handle, became tolerable. The words that had evaporated to thin air, were finally able to come out for once. But they poured down like a heavy rainstorm. A rainstorm with pellets of hail.

"No, you said that!" Zayn argued. "I know you celebrated your birthday, but you were not drunk. You were sober enough to comprehend everything around you when you said that!"

It was February 2nd and the One Direction "On The Road Again" tour would be starting in five days. Zayn was on the phone with Harry, trying to explain to him that last night, he'd called him and said three magical words he was never ever supposed to say.

N e v e r.

"I don't remember that." Harry countered. "I never told you I loved you."

"Yes you did! I did not dream it, so stop making me out to be crazy! Okay, stop it! This is the worst mistake I have ever made. Why are you pretending you never said that?"

The line was quiet.

"Oh, so now you don't have an answer? Well you know what... I don't even need an answer from you. I already know why. It's because you feel guilty. You do love me, but you regret every second of it because I'm not what you were initially attracted too. How pathetic!"

"What are you even talking about?" Harry heard sniffles, so he knew he was crying.

"You fell for the girl version of me, Harry. You liked that stupid Georgia Rose character way more than you ever liked Zayn Malik. And the signs were always there. The way you talked to me, the way you treated me. I was so stupid and caught up, that I ignored it and I don't know, maybe I didn't want to know. But that's my mistake. I guess it's a good thing I never told you I loved you back. Would've been all for nothing, huh?"

The conversation ended there because Zayn hung up. Harry tried to call back but he was ignored. So he stopped trying.

After that, Zayn and Harry didn't talk to each other until five days later when the first date of the tour started up in Sydney Australia. Harry did everything thing he could to keep Zayn from being upset with him. He even made a cute little attempt at a joke when he yelled "I'm pregnant!" during Zayn's solo in Strong, knowing it'd catch Zayn's attention.