Chapter 58

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THE ESTEVEZ BROWN BROWNSTONE, NEW YORK

GRANDMA: Let me see if I have understood it correctly. Ethan is stuck in the nineteenth century.

DAD: Correct.

GRANDMA: And Travis and Ethan's team are figuring out how to bring my grandson back home.

BOBBY: You don't have to worry, Grandma. I'm sure they'll find a way very soon.

GRANDMA: And, from Ethan's letter to us, we can conclude he's very well in this Pemberley place.

MOM: Exactly!

GRANDMA: And Fitz is from 1811.

MOM: Yes, but he'll be returning home as well, as soon as Travis brings Ethan back. So everything will be fine. There's no need to panic.

GRANDMA: Who says I'm panicking? You've just told me my grandson invented the first time travel machine in history, became the first person to ever travel through time, he's very well, thank you very much, and will be returning soon. Not only that, he sent back for a while that temptation of a British and you just told me the guy is over two hundred years old.

MOM: Sure, but I don't quite understand where you're going with this.

GRANDMA: You see, Fitz is not too old for me! Quite the contrary: I am the one too young for him! Isn't that wonderful?

MOM: Mother!

DAD: Wow.

BOBBY: I'm not sure I got that... Oh. Oh! That was gross, Grandma!

GRANDMA: Gross is hiding your marijuana in your boxers when your mothers cleans your room and putting the joint in your mouth afterwards!

MOM: WHAT?!

BOBBY: Not cool, Grandma!

DAD: Cough, Cough, Cough

MOM: I know you're holding back your laugh, Carlos. How dare you? This is serious! How could you joke in a moment like that, Mother?

GRANDMA: I am being serious, darling! I believe we should make the most of this mess.

BOBBY: Sorry to disappoint you, Grandma, but I'm guessing the only one who's going to make something with Fitz is Nat...

GRANDMA: Well, at least someone is enjoying that pretty piece of British ass.

MOM: Mother!!!

BOBBY: I'm gonna puke.

[Carlos laughs]

GRANDMA: Christ, could you be less prudish? It seems as if you two were the ones from the nineteenth century! I'm telling you: we should try to make the most of it.

MOM: Well, when you say it like that... I wonder if there was a way we could communicate with Ethan...

DAD: You wish to tell him we are all right as well, darling?

MOM: Actually, I really wished he could buy me a first edition of Percy Bysshe Shelley's St. Irvyne. Why are you looking at me like that? It was published that year.

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