A 'Sirius' Kind of Love (A Sirius Black Love Story) NO LONGER TERMINATED

Chapter 21

"N-no, sir," I stuttered, ducking my head and staring at my fidgeting fingers that were playing with the sleeves of my school robe.

It was silent for a moment longer before Dumbledore spoke again. In the very back of my mind, I knew he was saying these things to manipulate me into his way of thinking, to get me to say yes to his proposition. But the things he said inspired newfound emotions I didn't know existed, hatred towards Voldemort for making my sisters become his followers, destroying my father, killing off innocent people that had no right to die. Deep in my heart, I knew what he was doing, but I couldn't help but follow what he said.

"Miss Daniels, I know this is a difficult decision for you to make, but I want you to think of all the things you would be doing for the wizarding world. Having a spy directly in Voldemort's circle, someone who was close to him, would greatly tip the favor of the war in our direction. We would have so much of a better chance to stop the innocent from being brutally tortured and murdered, and it would be down to you. Do you not want to take revenge on the very evil being who killed your father, who I know was dear to you, or the 'man' that forced your own flesh and blood to bear the Dark Mark and serve under his name?"

I found myself nodding slowly, like I was under a trance with the words he was speaking. My mind was screaming at me to not listen, to place my hands over my ears and block out his persuasive words, but my heart was telling me everything he said was right. It was telling me I needed to step up, and fight back for all the people in the world who had suffered directly, or indirectly at Voldemort's hand. It told me I needed to make a stand for my friends who had lost family members during this war.

Three words left my lips, and I have never regretted something more in my life. I suppose what I was about to do was very courageous and noble, but I didn't want to be a spy, Dumbledore's little hand puppet. That was exactly was I was agreeing to, but I did nonetheless.

"I'll do it."

What have I done? I knew my face was deathly pale once I left his office after working out the details. I needed to tell my sisters I had changed my mind, that I wanted in. I had to hide everything from everyone, and the only person I could talk to about this whole endevour was Dumbledore himself. My knees were knocking together as I made my way slowly through the crowds of students waiting to get into the Great Hall. Classes had finished, and I had been surprised to learn I had missed the rest after I had left Charms.

I had to learn Occlumency to prevent Voldemort from prying inside my mind and discovering me. I had to learn Leglimency so I could enter unsuspecting Death Eater minds and gain information I didn't know. So, to keep this whole secret to myself, I planned to avoid everyone who knew me personally so none of them knew something was majorly wrong with me. Lily would read me easily enough, and eventually force me to tell her what was happening. James and Sirius would relentlessly pound me for answers unless I told them, so it was inevitable. I had to stay away from all of them and learn to mask my emotions, to hide everything from everyone. Basically, I had to become a machine if I was to succeed at this task.

"Cory!" I distinctly heard Lily's voice calling after me above the chattering of other students crowding the hall, but I ignored it and continued on walking towards the common room. "Cory, where are you going?"

I still didn't answer, which made the worry enter Lily's voice. I could hear it. And the hurt that I was purposely ignoring her calls, the confusion about why I suddenly turned so cold. It was killing me on the inside not to answer, but I had to keep away, for both my sake and hers.

Sirius P.O.V.

Lily came running up to James and I, looking very distraught and confused. "What's wrong Lils?" James asked alarmed, willing accepting what looked to be a painfully constricting hug from Lily.