Love Games (Slow Updates)

In Love

" Oh OK, I hope it goes good  " I smiled

He leaned down perching his elbows on my thighs sighing " Yeah, hopefully. Jason and Micah are back and you know how much we need them on the team ."I nodded understanding him fully. Like I always did.... so surely he would understand my feelings for him. And maybe right now is the perfect time to tell him . Plus my mum told me that I desperately needed to tell him before I get hurt.

I'm going for it !

"Hey I need to talk to you about something" I tried to get his full focus which wasn't hard. He looked up and moved back off of me.

ooh I don't know if this is a good idea

"Mm-hm what's up mama. Shoot" he spoke focusing only on me and his phone spinning on its side on the counter.

Uhhhhhhh how do I say it? I should have thought this through more...

" Umm I don't know how to say this so imma say it fast and I hope you catch it. All I want you to say is that we can talk about it later , nothing else . Ok?"
I grabbed his hands but quickly let go. Clasping my own in my lap .

" ok ...you're scaring me, what is it"

I took a deep breath and under 2 seconds I spoke " I've never loved someone as much as I love you right now, I have been feeling like this for a long time now and I just didn't wanna say anything until I knew for sure that my feelings were accurate. I was worried that if I told you that I would get rejected because you didn't like me back. Uggh finally" my eyes pressed close and I sighed aloud in relief. However, when I opened my eyes and saw his expression, it was just as I expected. Pricelessly disappointed.

His chest heaved up and down while he paused and puzzle pieced his way back to sanity. He was not leaning on me anymore, nowhere near me actually, in fact, he had retreated to the fridge door to find comfort in something... I guess that wasn't me. Suddenly his facial expression scrunched tighter, his eyebrows now furrowed tighter as if digging deeper into a hole of confusion. With pure hesitation, his arms folded against his chest and he raised his head to stare right at me.

I knew this face well, very well indeed. It could be described, only through its own speech /voice, as: 'what the hell. Ok, let me work this out because I am confused, very confused. Just give me a minute and don't say anything . Ok I give up'

From that I knew not to say anything, well I couldn't help it. I wanted to explain, now that it was out in the  open

"Tyrus, I ...." I tried

He closed his eyes "and you are only telling me this now ... well before my game ?" He was using his hands a lot. I didn't like it

" Tyrus I just needed to tell you while it could come out. If not now then when ?" I pleaded for him to understand. I was starting to tear up. He pressed his elbows to the fridge so his palms could mask his face.

" any day baby girl, any day but today. I have a big game today, wow"I dipped my head in shame . 

"I'm sorry" I mumbled. This is exactly what I thought would happen .

Upon seeing my action when he turned from his position . He slipped his fingertips under my chin , lifting it so I looked at him and nowhere else.

"Hey ... don't be sorry , you can't help how you feel, I understand . How about we speak about it after the game and this time you can talk a little slower" I couldn't understand what he was feeling now but it wasn't exactly bad. However, I didn't wanna get my hopes up.

" ok," I said plainly.

" cool, so imma head out to my game now, but like I said .... yh " he hugged my body and turned around heading off to the front door. I heard him shout out to his brother and once Tyrian responded " good luck" he opened the door and left, shutting it abruptly.