Together Apart | ✓

|Chapter XIX|

We repeat what we don't repair

Chapter 19: Everyone's scared of rejection

I wasn't a mean person. Mean was the word you used to describe someone like Emily; domineering, spiteful, or pompous. You could describe myself as the opposite. But not everyone can keep a fake smile on their face forever.

At my locker Jordan approached me. The only difference was that he was holding flowers. He handed me fresh lilies in which I accepted.

My eyes searched his face. He looked worse each day. What I meant by this was the dark bags under his eyes. Sleep wasn't coming his way and nothing was helping him.

People once again had nothing better to do than observe. There was no pressure on what my next move would be. Right there I could give him a hug, forgive him and act like nothing happened. Unfortunately this was a much serious case.

A bouquet of flowers was nothing to me. That's the reason why I did what I did. A small smile appeared on my face. Jordan's expression brightened from mine. My mouth opened to seem like I was about to talk while a sparkling aspect ran through his eyes.

You know the saying, if someone jumps into a fire would you do the same? My answer was always no but what if someone broke your heart? He hurt me so I was going to hurt him too.

I took a swift sniff of the flowers. I looked back at Jordan who had hope in his eyes. In his mind this was the moment I forgave him and forgot about the past. Wrong, it was the moment I dumped the flowers in the nearest trashcan right in front of him, in front of everybody.

Girls' gasps could be heard along with guy's hallooing words used when things got heated. No one expected me to make such a move. They took me for a lovesick girl thinking I would flaunt over a bunch of colourful plants.

One thing was things got tense. Jordan gave me a broken look that I didn't take into consideration. How does it feel to be hurt by the one you love, the one you trusted? Sad thing was he wouldn't understand the pain he caused me. This was nothing compared to what he did.

The following day I found chocolates in my locker. A box of Lindt chocolates with a card attached to it. I kept the chocolate and read the note.

Please just speak to me

I wasn't giving into his gifts, chocolate I just so happened to be craving at the time. He got me on a lucky day. If it was some other day I wouldn't have hesitated to do the same thing I did to those poor lilies.

It didn't stop there. He sent me text messages everyday explaining how sorry he was. It looks like he was willing to try any form of communication. I stopped reading them after a while and left the numbers of notifications on my phone to rise.

However Jordan was just so smart. He knew I would ignore his messages and switched things up using the old fashioned way. He hand wrote letters that were folded neatly into white envelopes. How classy and elegant just how I liked it. Damn he knew everything about me.

My heart jumped for a second when I thought it was another defamation. A whole bunch of envelopes fell out of the locker all written with the same thing, Ray. Imagine the look on my face in the hallways on a Tuesday morning.

In total, three hundred and fifty- six letters were sitting on my study table waiting to be open. All of them being from this week. I wasn't ready to see the words on them. I wasn't at all ready to consider forgiveness.