fun ; phan

thirty five

Phil stops his car in front of the orphanage building, hopes in my mind that he won't judge me because of it, and I smile at him, happier than my usual self.

"Thank you," I say, looking down at my legs out of embarrassment from the goofy smile on my face.

"No problem, I wasn't gonna make you walk!" He responds, not understanding exactly what I mean.

"No, no, I mean for everything these two days. I-I didn't have anyone before and life was kinda shit, and I guess some of it still is, but I have you now, so, uh, thanks." I say, looking at him smiling at me.

"Thanks to you too. You're my only real friend, y'know. This was fun." He says, messing with my hair like always, and I pout, but lean a little closer and cup his face, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek.

"Who would've thought the captain of the football team's only friend would be a short little twat?" I say as I hop out of the car, waving and slamming the door shut.

He watches as I skip down the path leading to the front door, presumably to make sure I get in safe, and I flash a smile at him as I slowly push open the door, hoping not to make a sound, as I know I'm late back, also having not come back yesterday, so the staff will probably be pissed. I think I've gotten off the hook, tiptoeing up the stairs, but apparently not.

"Dammit, Howell!" One of the staff, Toby, says. "Care to explain why you're an hour late? Oh, and maybe why you didn't even come back last night? We're here to take care of you!"

"Firstly, I already fucking texted one of you saying I spent the night at my friend's house, secondly, what the fuck is it to you if I'm back late? I have to leave this place, in a few days, cause I'll be a fucking adult with nowhere to go. Who cares if I decide to have some fun for once?" I snap at him, letting out my anger towards being trapped here, curfews and all.

"Language, Dan!" He shouts, that being the only thing he cared about from what I said, evidently.

"Fuck off! I'm not 10 anymore! I can swear at you as much as I like, cause, frankly, you're the worst person here!" I scream at him, running up all of the stairs, bumping into a confused and tired looking member of staff on the way.

I slam the door to my room behind me, sitting down on the bed and gripping the sheets, needing to let out some anger somehow. I watch the door handle jostle, and Toby walks in, followed by another staff, Katy.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Calm down, Dan," Katy says in the calming voice she's trained to use on kids, but it doesn't fucking work anymore.

"How about no? I'm fucking done with this place."

"You've never been angry like this before, though. What's wrong?" She asks, moving closer and shooting me a concerned look. "Where's this from? I haven't seen it before." She asks, trying to move the conversation to something a little different.

"It's my friend's," I answer, pulling the sleeves of Phil's jacket over my hands.

Toby rolls his eyes at me, speaking. "The same friend that you deemed more important than you being home on time."

"Yeah, actually. I really don't give a fuck about your rules here."

"Oh, what, have you got yourself a girlfriend or something and suddenly you're too cool for being safe?" He asks, and, if it was possible, there'd be steam fuming out of his ears.

"Boyfriend, actually, and, yeah, he's a whole lot more important to me than anything else."

"This is sh- crappy behaviour from you. You can't leave here until Monday, no seeing your boyfriend. You need to learn to care about what's important."

"HE'S WHAT'S IMPORTANT!" I scream, and Katy shoots Toby a look that I can't read; before they both head to leave. "I don't see how you even qualified for this fucking job, dickhead!" I shout before Toby can shut the door, tears starting to stream down my cheeks now.

The first thing I do is pick up my phone, hands trembling with anger, calling Phil. He picks up immediately.

"Dan? What's up?"

"I-I hate it here! They're s-so, fuck! They're so shitty, I just-"

"Hey, hey, calm down," Phil says, much like Katy, but in a way that manages to actually somewhat calm me down. "What happened?"

"Th-They, they just treat me like I'm still the fucking child that came in here, with curfews and all, and then they just- I said that I was with a friend, and then like, I dunno, that my boyfriend is more important than their shitty rules, but they're so pissed! They-They- I'm basically on lockdown in here until Monday, but my fucking birthday is on Sunday, and I just wanna get the hell out of here!"

"Shit, Dan, I'm so sorry. I promise we'll figure something out, but I can't help all that much right now, so go get changed into something comfy and warm, some nice pyjamas, yeah? Wear my big, warm, jumper and remember that I love you, okay?"

"O-Okay, can I call you back after? I just- I wanna hear your voice, it calms me down."

"Sure, I'm not going anywhere."

"Okay, bye for now."

"Bye, Dan."

I creep out of my room, and into the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror, eyes and cheeks red and puffy. Stripping off my clothes and hopping in the shower, I start to wash away everything. Every tear shed and every word said. It doesn't last long, not wanting anyone to realise that I'm in here, as they'd probably be creeps and wait for me to come out, and shout at me for wasting water or some shit.

After showering, my hair is a more-curly-than-usual mess, but I feel more relaxed, and do as Phil said, wearing my far too big for my pyjamas and Phil's jacket, the soft material and scent of something so Phil giving me comfort and warmth.

I then call Phil, and he just speaks to me, rambling on about whatever, because listening to him is soothing, and at some point I imagine I'll fall asleep, mind filled with the imaginative words of Phil Lester.