Living with Styles

eight

"I brought ice cream!!" Perrie exclaims as she jumps up and down.

"Calm down, babe." Zayn laughs.

They're so cute.

Dinner went well, I guess. I avoided eye contact with Harry and whenever he asked for something to be passed over to him, I waited for someone else to get it, even if I'm closer.

Everything is all cleaned up now and Louis pulls out a deck of cards and a six pack of beer. "Wanna play Go Fish?"

They all nod in agreement. "I'll go get a Coke." I stand up.

"Bella, sweetie, could you get me one as well? I'm not in the mood for any alcohol." Perrie says.

"Yeah, sure." I smile.

Liam follows me into the kitchen. "So, I've noticed you haven't said a word to Harry all night." He leans on the counter. "Is everything okay?"

I set the two cokes down on the counter and lean on the opposite side, so I'm facing Liam. "Actually, no. Nothing's okay. I can't get over the fact that my mother is gone. And Harry is just-ugh" I slam my hands on the counter. "He's just so difficult!"

"Y'know," He half-smiled. "He said the same thing about you."

"Stop trying to get me to forgive him or whatever, because it's not going to work. He left without a trace for 13 years, Liam. 13 years. I will never forgive him for that." I snap. I've never acted like this around Liam, and he looks a little taken aback.

I regain myself and take a deep breath. "I'm sorry. It's just-I'm just a little stressed out."

"It's fine, Bella. You're going through a lot right now. I know. It's only been two months. That's not a very long time to forgive somebody who has hurt you in several ways and you've come to hate. But just try to loosen up a little, please? He's trying his best." Liam is now standing in front of me and looking straight into my eyes.

He's trying his best.

I don't say anything and return to the table with the two Cokes.

"Thank you, Bella." Perrie gives me a warm smile.

"No problem." I smile back, weakly.

-

"Bells! You won!! Again!!" Louis exclaims. "I don't think we should let her play anymore. What do you think, Niall?" He teases.

"It's not my fault I'm better than you." I sass back with a smug smile on my face.

"Ooh. Big tough, girl, huh?" Louis put a his hands up in a fake surrender. "I'm so scared."

I can't help but laugh. Something I haven't done in a long time.

"How did you get so good, anyway?" Niall asks.

"Oh, um..." this is a touchy subject. "My mom and I," I look down at my hands, but smile at the memories flooding into my mind. "We used to play all the time."

I feel a hand on my back. I look up and see Harry's emerald eyes looking at me. What is he doing?

I stand up abruptly. "I should be getting to bed." I say.

"It's only 10:00. You don't wanna play another round?" Louis pouts.

"Sorry, Lou." I sigh. "I've had a long day."

I sit on my bed, tears streaming down face. I lightly run my finger over the picture I found in the bottom of the box.

There's a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" I say weakly.

"It's Niall." I hear the thick Irish accent say.

"And Louis!" Louis quickly adds.

"Can we come in?"

May we come in.

"Sure." I start putting away the pictures.

"How are you doing, babe?" Louis asks.

I wipe my eyes. "I-I'm fine."

Then I see my favorite picture of mom as I put the box away. The tears start streaming down my face again.

Niall sits me down on the bed again and rubs my back in circles. "It's okay, Bella. Everything will be okay."

No, it won't.

We sit like this for a while, until Zayn calls Niall and Louis downstairs because it's time for them to go home.

Niall stands up and pulls me into a warm embrace.

"I can't get your shirt wet with all my tears." I say.

"It's okay to cry, Bella. Don't worry." He whispers. "I understand."

No, you don't.

"Alright, I wanna join." Louis says. "Group hug!!" He hugs the other side of me and I'm sandwiched between them.

"Niall! Lou! Come on!" Zayn yells from downstairs.

They pull away before yelling, "Coming!!"

"Goodbye, Bella." Niall says, smiling.

"See ya later, Bella." Louis says before closing the door.

Now, don't get me wrong. I do appreciate them trying to help. I'm just sick and tired of people saying, 'I understand.' Or 'It's okay, everything will be okay.' You don't understand. You've never felt what I'm feeling right now. And how do you know it's going to be okay? You don't. It could turn into a disaster at any given moment. Then will it be okay?

-

*Harry's POV*

Should I try talking to her?

No, she hates me. It'll only make her more upset.

I lie in my bed, these thoughts racing through my mind.

I tried to comfort her last night, when Go Fish brought up a memory of mom. But she just rejected it. She got up and left because it was me.

If it was anyone else in that room, she wouldn't of cared. I mean, she would've cared because it's a nice gesture, but she would of let them comfort her. When it's me, it's a whole different ball park.

She hates me. But she just doesn't understand. Why is she so difficult?

I know she lets Niall and Louis comfort her and give her warm hugs like a good brother should.

But I'm not a good brother.

Niall, Louis, Liam, and Zayn are probably more brotherly towards her than I ever will be. Because she won't let me be. She just has in her mind that I left and I'm a terrible person because of it.

But she's kind of right, I guess.

I'm a terrible brother.