Inspired

Chapter #22

Yuri's Pov

The next morning, Victor gently shook me awake and told me that we were going to Switzerland. I kind of had a feeling that we would go anyways,I just didn't expect it to be so soon.

 Before I could even ask what to expect, all I had to do was blink, and we were already at the airport. Sitting in the waiting room, I looked over at Victor.I've known Victor long enough to recognize all of his looks and expressions. Right now, his expression told me he was hurting for Chris, but determined to be right beside him. Seeing him this way reminded me of a time when we were both in China, and Victor was making the competition all the more difficult for me.

*Flashback*

Victor and I were standing in a dimly-lit room, right below the stadium. I remember how anxious I was; it was as if the anxiety radiated off of me. The room wasn't even cold, but I couldn't stop shivering. 'Why did Victor bring me here? Why is he studying me so hard? Why the hell isn't he comforting me, can't he see how distressed I am?' 

Those were the questions I kept constantly asking myself. Looking up at him for a second, I saw him pacing, and could guess that he was going to say something to test my reaction....I also knew I wouldn't like what I was about to hear. Stopping a few feet away from me, he suddenly looked very composed. Sigh...here it comes.

"Yuri, it is at least partial in my fault if you mess up your program today and don't make it onto the podium. I'll take responsibility and resign as your coach."

For a minute, the words directed at me were scrambled in my head,but the second they made sense to me, I knew..

I knew for a fact that he was testing me, but it still felt like a cold slap. Not only that, but how could he say something like that? Above all else, even though it was my greatest weakness, he knew how vulnerable I was.

 How emotional I could be..... I hated crying in front of him, but I had no control over myself. I felt my face burning as if someone was holding a red, hot poker right next to it; but I couldn't push them away. I wanted to cover my face and hide, anything was better then having him gawk at me like he didn't know for a fact this would happen. But at the same time, I needed to prove him wrong that much more. I wasn't a waste of time, and somehow, I needed to prove that to him.

       *End of Flashback*

Even though it hurt to hear it, in some strange, inexplicable way, it helped. After every storm, there's a clear, blue sky; that's how I felt inside. I wanted to resent him for saying those things, but didn't. I couldn't, not when the love I felt for him overshadowed everything else.

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Once we were on the plane and in familiar seats,I did something that Victor usually does for me; I took his hand in my own. Before I could kiss it though, he beat me to it.

"Yuri, I never thought you'd ever see me at my lowest. If anything could describe I feel, then I would have to say I feel drained; squeezed dry, now all that's left to do is throw me away."

I wanted to say something so badly to comfort to him, but I didn't really know what kind of bond he shared with Chris except for what he told me. And honestly, I doubt anything I could've said would've really made a difference. I'm not trying to be pessimistic, but his pain looked so deliberate; as if he wanted to feel it.

 I had never seen or heard this side of him before. Maybe this was an unrealistic thought, but I wished the positions were reversed, and I was taller than him, him shorter than me, then I could hold him. I could put him in my lap, squeeze him tightly, and chase away the demons he was fighting. Just acknowledging the fact that there might be nothing I could do or say to could make him feel any kind of relief made me so dismal. Tell me what to do, Victor.

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Once we got  off the plane and entered the terminal, I had to keep leading Victor in the right direction; it was as if he was under some kind of spell. I knew the one person who could break it, but if Victor kept dragging me in circles insisting that he knew where he was going, we would never get anywhere. 

After a while my legs were threatening to give out on me on account of how much Victor dragged me from one side of the airport to the other. I had had enough, so as soon as I found an unoccupied seat, I quickly took it. 

Well, more like collapsed into it. I felt nothing but sympathy for Victor, but I was pretty sure that letting him pull at my sweatshirt relentlessly wasn't going to make him feel any better. I may have over-dramatized how tired I was, but Victor kind of needed to know that I wasn't invincible; I could break, which I have done many times over.

"Yuri, I'm absolutely sure now that the exit is over-- Yuri, are you alright?" Victor asked as his tone changed from erratic to worried.He slowly took a seat beside me and draped an arm around my shoulder.

 "Yuri, I never realized how long we had walked for. I know I've been overbearing since I found out about Chris, but if I ever go too far, I need you to put me in my place. I would never want you to go through something that's too much for you," he told me as he stroked my arm.

" You don't know Chris like I do," Victor continued as he held my hand in his own. "but I've always been connected to him. When he's hurting, I hurt too. And right now..." he paused, brushing my cheek with his entrancing, long fingers. "..he really needs me."

"I know he does." I replied, truly seeing the pain in Victor's eyes.

Standing from our seats, I led the way to the exit and we hailed a taxi. Earlier on when Chris had called Victor, he had said that he wanted us to stay at his house for as long as we were in Switzerland. According to Victor, Chris said he stays in a town called Bienne, so that's where we were headed. I really hoped that Victor being there for Chris can really make a difference. They both needed it.

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