Forever and Always Book 2 [A Bensler FanFic]

Chapter 9

When Elliot realized what I said, he held me close to his body, as he kissed me passionately.

I remember. I remember everything.

Our lips parted, and he caressed my cheek with a smile plastered on his lips.

"Everything?" He asked, and I nodded.

"I don't know if it is a good thing that I remember the pain, but it makes me happy that I remember the good stuff." I grinned, and he leaned down and kissed my lips again.

"We need to tell the kids." He smiled, and I nodded.

"Are they still here?"

"No. Mo took them out to lunch. I'll call her and tell her that you are awake."

"Just wait. I want to spend some time with my king." I smiled, and he laughed.

"How many more things from high school are you going to bring back up?" He asked, and I smiled largely.

"Them all."

=+=

When the kids got back, all of them were hesitant. Not even Maureen knew about my memory.

"How are you feeling?" Janey asked, as she stood right next to Auggie. 

"I'm feeling good, baby." I smiled. She shifted onto her other leg, and Auggie watched me.

"Something is different, Mommy." He spoke, and I smiled.

"Yeah. Something is different." I replied, as Elliot helped Quinn onto the bed. She cuddled close to me, and didn't even speak.

"What happened, Mom?" Maureen asked.

"You were born with the blondest hair that I had ever seen. When I held you for the first time, you squirmed out of your blanket, and slept with your fist under your chin." I breathed, and everyone was confused.

Maureen was more confused than them all.

"Sammy, you fell when you were one and hit your chin on the corner of the coffee table in our living room. Instead of crying, you just jumped up and continued to run around." I smiled, and I watched as tears ran down Mo's cheeks.

She knew now.

"Your memory." She whispered. I smiled and nodded.

"Everything that has happened is back. I remember everything." I spoke, my voice shaking as I held back tears.

=+=

With all the good memories that came back, the bad ones did too. I woke up in a cold sweat the night after my surgery, tears on my cheeks, and my heart broken.

Ethan

I felt the heartbreak of losing my son again, and it hurt just as much as before. I could still see the look on Elliot's face when he told me about our son. How he had to witness me laying there, my arm draped over my stomach, to only have me wake up and realize that my baby wasn't growing inside of my swell anymore. He was in heaven.

I leaned over and turned on the light, before running my hands over my face and taking deep breaths.

"Are you alright?" Elliot yawned from where he slept next to me on the cot. I bit my lip. I had forgotten that he was sleeping here.

"Sorry." I mumbled, and he looked at me and shook his head.

"Come on. What's wrong?" He asked.

"I just watched myself lose Ethan again." I sighed, and he frowned. He climbed onto the bed with me, and held me close.

"I'm sorry."

"I know that I wanted him so bad, but I guess he was meant to be in heaven. But I still hate thinking about him. I love that little boy so much still." I croaked.

"I love him too." He spoke, before gently kissing my head.

"Get some sleep, baby. We need to get you up and walking tomorrow. Since the sooner you start walking, the sooner we get to get you home."

=+=

5 Months Later

I stood in front of my mirror, and straightened my shirt. I ran my hands through my short brown hair, and smiled. I felt someone looking at me, and I looked over and saw Elliot standing in the doorway, smiling at me.

"Hey." I grinned, and chuckled.

"Like what you see? Cause I like what I see." He spoke, and I blushed, as he walked over and grabbed my waist. I placed a kiss to his lips and then leaned back slightly so I could look into his eyes.

"I look good, if I do say so myself." I spoke, and he chuckled.

"You do look good. Ready to head back to work?" He asked, and I nodded.

"Oh yeah."

Elliot and I walked downstairs, and the kids were sitting and eating breakfast. It was still weird to have all my babies in school, and it was also weird that Maureen was back in college and only came home on certain weekends.

"Mommy!" Quinn squealed, and I smiled. School has been good for my daughter. She is less shy, and is resembling her siblings more on the personality level.

"Hey, baby. Ready for school?" I asked, and she nodded quickly.

"I have finger painting today!" She squealed, and I smiled largely.

"I want to see that." I spoke. I walked over and kissed her brown curls, before turning and walking to the coffee pot. I poured myself a cup, before walking over and sitting next to Janey, who leaned over and kissed my cheek.

"Morning, Mommy." She smiled.

"Morning, baby."

We sat and ate for awhile, until Elliot herded the kids out to the bus. 

We waved them off, before getting into our SUV, and Elliot drove us towards the precinct. I was ecstatic to finally be getting back to work. 

I opened up my bag, and looked in it to make sure I had my pain meds just in case, and instead, I found a envelop.

"What is this?" I asked El.

"No idea." He replied, without even looking at me.

"Elliot Stabler, you didn't even look!" I laughed, and he smiled.

"Because I didn't need to, Olivia Benson!" He laughed, and I groaned. I opened the envelop.

Tears welled in my eyes right away. I swallowed hard, as I looked at each picture.

My kids wanted to send me back to work in the best way possible, and they had each drawn pictures for me.

They were all cute and amazing. I loved those kids so much for this, and when I tucked them back into the envelop and into my bag, I knew that whatever happened today, I would be happy. It would all go good.

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