The Destitute Queen || h.s. au

75. Harry

     I waited all night for her.

     Nine o'clock rolled by, and I figured she might have just been a little bit late. Ten o'clock came around, and I think she probably still doesn't feel very well, and I give her the benefit of the doubt. By midnight, I figured she wasn't going to come, but I stayed awake anyways in case she decided to come. At two in the morning, I picked up a book of stories and the dahlia, and laid down on my bed.

     I had skipped past most of the stories that are about love and went right to the funny ones in the hopes that my mood will change. It didn't work.

     At four o'clock in the morning, I gave up and started crying. Father said I was always too sensitive, that I cry too often. That may be true, but last night was a legitimate reason to cry.

     Does she even love me? I haven't heard her say it since the first time, three weeks ago. Maybe it was just in the moment, because I reunited her with her family. So, maybe she doesn't really love me.

     My chest tightens just thinking about it. I cried myself to sleep last night, and now it's obvious by my face that I didn't sleep much. I was woken up early in order to get ready for my brother's wedding. I got a total of about two hours of sleep, and the dark circles under my eyes were proof.

     "Where's Father?" I can hear Louis ask while he looks at himself in the mirror. He's in Father's chambers, getting ready for the wedding in a couple of hours. Liam is here, too, and so are a few servants, including Edward and Leonardo. I could care less who's around me right now, I'm just zoning everything out as I on the edge of Father's bed with my head leaning on the bedpost.

     "Council meeting, but he'll be here soon," Liam responds. Then, he turns to me and a frown forms on his face. He takes a seat next to me while Edward and Leonardo are conversing and Louis is admiring himself. Liam lowers his voice. "Are you alright?"

     I nod my head, but he doesn't believe me. He crosses his arms and looks at me expectantly, until I finally shake my head.

     "I don't want to talk about it," I mutter, not facing him.

     "Is it about her?" He doesn't drop the subject, so I nod. "Is it because-"

     "I said I don't want to talk about it," I angrily whisper. "What part of that do you not understand?"

     He looks at me, surprised by my outburst. Then, he sighs and shakes his head. "There's no need to get angry, you know."

     "So, I'm not allowed to have feelings?" I retort. I know I shouldn't be taking my emotions out on him, but I just can't help it. The love of my life made it clear last night that she doesn't want me by not coming to my room and never telling me that she loves me, so I'm heartbroken and that makes me angry.

     "Of course you're allowed to have feelings, it's just that-"

     "Look," I interrupt him. "I'm tired of getting advice from you, Liam. You once told me that love always finds a way, but that's complete bullshit. Look at what love has done to me. I can't sleep, I feel sick, and I'm always in pain. I wish that I could just break away from the hold she has on me, but love won't let me."

     "I know it's hard," he whispers, looking around to make sure no one is listening to us. Louis is now talking to both Edward and Leonardo, and they're all laughing. "I've been through it myself. It will get better, though."

     "How?" I frown, still angry. "How could it ever get better? You loved that girl, then you got married and had to stay away from her. How the hell does someone recover from that?"