The Destitute Queen || h.s. au

39. Lena

     I sit out on the balcony I have claimed to be mine, playing with my necklace. The chair I'm sitting on is wooden and uncomfortable, but I don't mind. The one thing I do mind is the weather. These uniforms weren't meant to keep people warm, and I find myself shivering as I stare at the view.

     Out of curiosity, I look up to the balcony above me and see Hen- Prince Harry looking at me. He smiles at me and waves, but I look away from him, turning my chair a bit so I don't have to see him. I still can't believe he lied to me like that. And to think, he was the only one here who I had just begun to trust.

     I think back to last night, before I found out that he wasn't who he said he was. He was kind enough to bring me sweets, even though I didn't get a chance to try all of them. He was funny when we were dancing around. He was sympathetic when I shed a tear.

     It has been two weeks since I was ripped from my family, yet it feels like it's been years. Although I've had small moments of joy here and there, there is still the underlying feeling of uncertainty. They must think I'm dead by now. I may as well be, at this point. If I don't freeze to death out here, I'll die of the guilt that is weighing my heart down.

     I haven't felt my heart stir in a long time, but I certainly felt something last night. Not when I found out that Henry was really Prince Harry, nor when I tried chocolate for the first time. The moment I felt my heart stir was when we were dancing. I can never forgive myself for what I momentarily felt. Prince Harry thinks that I am not friendly with him because he lied to me, but that's only part of the truth.

     Niall is my one and only love, and that will never change. It doesn't matter what I felt when Prince Harry held my hand and made me laugh as we danced to the lovely music. I don't think I would be able to forgive myself if I thought for a moment that Niall isn't my true love.

     Prue once said that love will always find a way. If that were to be true, then I know that Niall and I will find each other again. After two weeks, I still refuse to believe that my life ended when I was thrown into the dungeon. I am still Milena Azrael, she is still part of me. I have to hang onto that, or else I'm afraid I'll lose my sense of self. I may be Lena the maid to these people, but only I know who I really am.

     That is why I will never let go of this ring, or the hope that I will see my family again. I know I sound naïve and in denial of the truth, but I don't care. I have started to forget the people I cared about, and I can't let that happen.

     Perhaps, since I can't run away, I could ask Prince Harry if he would take me to visit my village, so I can at least make sure my family is alright. I need to check on Ben, I've missed him the most and I want to know if Alec and Niall have found a way to save him yet. I don't want to use the Prince's royal status for my own benefit, but I have to see Ben. Of course, I'm still mad at Prince Harry, but I'm still going to ask.

     Suddenly, I hear the balcony door open and someone steps out. It's most likely Prue, she wants me to accompany her today while she sees the medic about her illness.

     "Did you want to see that medic now?" I ask her, but receive no response. I furrow my brows and turn around, only to see Prince Harry standing tall by the doorway, with a white blanket in his hands and a confused expression on his face, and I sigh. "I thought you were Prue."

     He clears his throat and looks down at his feet, scratching the back of his neck. "Um, may I join you?"

     I shrug and turn back around. The sound of his footsteps are light as he walks to the wooden table and up to the chair across the table from mine. Both of our chairs, however, are facing the kingdom instead of each other.