The Destitute Queen || h.s. au

56. Harry

I am going to fucking murder Louis.

Lena tried to hide her hands from me last night, but still saw them. And when I did, my heart stopped. I can't believe that my stupid, monster of a brother harmed her. I always knew he was cruel, but I never imagined he would do something as horrifying as this.

When I saw him in the garden strolling with Belladonna, I was seeing red. If Lena wasn't there to stop me, I would've done something regretful. It isn't in me to be violent, but Louis deserves to get the shit kicked out of him. If he was in his room last night when I went to confront him, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from hurting him. He's lucky I couldn't find him.

I couldn't sleep at all last night, my mind was clouded with the expression on Lena's face when I grabbed her hand. She was in clear pain, and I made it worse. If I hadn't grabbed her hand so harshly, she wouldn't have felt more pain than she already did.

I still can't believe she didn't tell me, though. Why wouldn't she want me to know what Louis did to her? Could she sense the anger I felt when I found out?

Turning to my side and pulling the blanket over me, I sigh as I notice the glass door leading to the balcony. My balcony is covered in snow, so I can't be out there until it's cleared. I can't help but have a small smile on my face when I recall that balcony being where I first saw Lena. It seems like such a long time ago, even though it hasn't even been a month. She was so sad, and I felt a strange need to comfort a woman that I had never met before.

Then, she became my friend. We spent a lot of time together, just joking around and keeping each other's company. That was when she thought my name was Henry.

After I told her the truth, she was understandably upset, but I thank God that she forgave me, and we were almost back to normal. Then, I couldn't help but kiss her.

At the time, I hated myself for doing it because I ended up scaring her off. If you had asked me yesterday morning if I regret doing it, I would have said yes. But, if I hadn't done that, Lena and I would still just be friends.

I still find it hard to believe that she actually admitted her feelings for me. Every time I think about that moment, I feel tears of joy forming in my eyes. She didn't say that she loves me yet, but I'll take what I can get. What matters is that she wants to be with me in the same way that I want to be with her. I still have to hold myself back a bit, keep my emotions under control. I need to know what I can do without scaring her off.

She lets me kiss her, which is such an incredible thing. I just wish I had a clear knowledge of my limits. Of course, there are some things that I'm not ready for myself, but I just want to do something other than kiss. But I shouldn't be wanting more, I should just be grateful that I finally have her to myself now.

The clock in my room strikes nine, so I decide to get out of bed. After changing my clothes, I look in the mirror and run my fingers through my hair, trying to tame it. Then, I get a good look at my hairless face and sigh. Liam started growing a beard at seventeen, so why can't I seem to be able to do it?

Perhaps when I'm a bit older, I'll be able to grow a beard. I wonder what I'd look like. I chuckle at the thought of actually having facial hair, it just doesn't seem like something that would suit me.

After I'm completely ready for the day, I decide that it's time to pay Louis a visit. I'm going to give him a piece of my mind. How dare he inflict harm upon my Lena? Just thinking about it is enough to get me fuming. I take a deep breath, turn towards the door, and begin walking.

I grab my door handle and calmly open it. Then, I step out into the hallway. Looking to my right, I notice someone leaving the room that Father gave to Aiden. I furrow my brows as I realize that the person who just stepped outside the room is Abigail. She stops and turns towards Aiden, who is leaning on the doorway with a smirk on his face.