The Pain of Loving Her

Chapter 39

"Lexa... Baby..." I hear a soft whisper in my ear.  It can't be ready to go to school yet. Even though its the last day of junior year I don't want to get up yet.

"Noo" I feel her arm wrap her around me. I place my hand on top of hers. "It can't be time to get up yet."  

"Its not it is only 3:00" she says nudging her chin in my back. 

"What the hell Clarke?" usually if she would wake me up this early I would be concerned but she doesn't sound like something is wrong.

"Sorry go back to bed. I just can't sleep." She lets go and turns around, clearly upset. 

I quickly turn and cuddle her, knowing a probably should be more caring. "Too late now. What's up?"

"Just can't sleep." is all she says. 

"Okay"  we lay there in silence for a few minutes, until an idea strikes me. "Clarke roll over." 

She listens and turns to face me. I brush my hand through her hair. I can't see her well but I can tell she looks beautiful.

"I love you" I say kissing her. "Lets watch a movie." I feel her nod so I roll over and grab my laptop from the floor.

I quickly get onto Netflix. I begin to scroll through the lists waiting for Clarke to choose. She finally picks one so I click on it. Clarke scoots over until she is in our normal movie watching position. I wrap my arm around to pull her closer and place a kiss on the head. She interlocks her fingers with mine. "I love you too" she says.

We sit in silence for a few minutes until Clarke says, "How much longer is this going to last?" 

"An hour and 22 minutes" I'm pretty sure that was not what she was referring to.

"That's not what I meant. How much longer am I going to be able to live everyday like this? With you beside me? It can't last forever." I knew there was something more than her just not being able to sleep. 

"Forever if you ask me but I guess it is up to you." I kiss her on the top of the head again and I can sense she is still thinking about it. "Where is this coming from?"

"I don't know. It just something I think about from time to time. I just feel like everything has been to amazing between us. Sure we have had our ups and down but we always fix it. I'm just scared that it won't always be this way. I just don't want to loss you." I pause the movie and sit the computer aside. 

"Clarke Griffin." I pull her on top of me. "Quit worrying about something that is not going to happen. I am here now and I promise I will be here tomorrow and the next day and everyday after that." I pull her in for a kiss when she pulls away I say "Besides I have to have somewhere to live and this is a hell of a lot better than Henry's." 

"You are way too cheesy Lex." she kisses me and rolls off me grabbing the computer. 

I hold her and eventually we both fall asleep.

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I wake up the sound of the alarm. I push Clarke off of me so I can reach over and turn it off. I get out of bed letting Clarke sleep for a few more minutes. I put on some jeans and a t-shirt. Then softly wake up Clarke before going down stairs to get some breakfast.  I am getting the toast out of the toaster when Clarke wraps her arms around me. I turn around to face her. 

"You look amazing" I say as I lean in to kiss her. 

"You ready for English today, and Spanish, and Chemistry?" she asks referring to the three finals I have today.  

"Absolutely I'm going to kill it. Except for the fact that the English final is surprise" 

"I'm sure you will do fine." she kiss my cheek and grabs a piece of toast from me. "Now lets go to school I would really like to get this day over with." she grabs the keys to the car I finally got last week. 

"Clarke Griffin don't you dare even think about eating that damn toast in my car." She grabs her bag an walks out the door sticking her tongue out at me. 

I quickly grab my bag and run out the door chasing her. She is putting her bag in the backseat when I reach her. I grab her waste and spin her away from the car. "Lexa" she screams before I put her down.  After a few kisses and laughs we finally get in the car. 

I arrive at school slightly nervous for my English final. English has never been a hard class but not knowing what test I am about to take makes me nervous. Clarke holds my hand as we walk through the doors. I walk her to class and then go to mine.

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I get into English and I have heard mixed reviews from people who had the final earlier today. Some people say it was easy and others have said it was hard but none of them have given anymore detail than that. 

"Well hello guys." The teacher says as soon as the bell rings. "I'm sure you have been wondering what your final is going to be. I can tell by the expressions on your faces the earlier classes kept their promises. Anyways today your task is to recount the events of your junior year. The good, the bad and everything in between. Don't worry I will not be reading these you will simply be graded for if you write the entire class. Now I hope that for most of you an hour will not be long enough to include all the details so I encourage you all to continue the story all the way through. So I am providing you each with a notebook and you can write in it as much as you would like for as long as you would like. Have fun." 

She sits at her desk and we get to work. I grab a green notebook and sit down at me desk. I grab a pencil and write... 

"Damn" I say as I walk up the steps to the third floor of my school. After the previous two years you would think those steps would be easier but they aren't. 

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Hey guys!! This story has come to an end. It has been an amazing expeirence for me and I appreciate all of you all so very much. Thank you for the support and making my day with all of your comments, votes and reads. I have been working on another story that I will start posting shortly and who knows I may write a sequel to this. As always let me know what you think. Love you <3<3