The Pain of Loving Her

Chapter 21

I crawl out of bed careful not to wake Clarke. I gently lay her head on the pillow kissing her on the forehead.  My side and face are killing me. I look around for some type of pants. The joggers she had on when she came to get me out on the floor. I put then on and walk downstairs. Abby is sitting on the couch, she was just who I was looking for.

"Hey Lexa" Abby turns to face me "Oh my Clarke failed to mention your face last night when she called after you fell asleep"she quickly stands up examining it.

"Yeah she was kind of a mess last night."

"I know I could barely understand her on the phone last night."

"She is blaming herself for all of it. I keep telling her it's not her fault but she won't listen."

"Clarke takes responsibility for everything. It's a blessing and a curse. It doesn't matter what you say you are not talking her out of it." She gives me a small smile and we both sit down on the couch.

"So I guess we need to talk then?" I want to talk to Abby before Clarke gets up. Abby waits for me to talk. "So I am obviously with out a place to live right now. And I know Clarke has already talked to you about me staying here. Even if that is true that you will allow me to stay for along period of time I will not be able to do it for free."

"Lexa I am more than okay with you staying here for as long as you need. I am going to clean out the spare room for you. You do not need to pay me for anything but if you feel obligated to we can talk about it later. Right now it's important to get you settled in." She gives me a small smile.

"Thank you so much and I have a job so I can pay for anything by myself.  Also, please don't hesitate to ask me to do anything around the house. I want to be as helpful as I can. I owe you so much for taking me in"

"You don't owe me anything. Its the least I can do. I'm so sorry for everything you are going through." She hugs me.

The hug is interrupted by my phone ringing. It's Henry. I quickly excuse myself.

"Hello"

"Lexa hey kiddo heard what happen please tell me you are not on the street somewhere?" The was genuine concern in his voice.

"No I'm with Clarke. I think I am going to be staying with her for a while."

"Okay I am sitting outside your house right now and no one is home. Do you need me to go grab anything?" I glad he is being nice about this.

"If you could maybe grab some more clothes I guess and some shoes that would be nice."

"Okay I love you Lexa. I will grab those things and anything else that may look important. I'm sorry your parents are assholes."

"Its okay I knew this day would come. Thanks for checking up on me though. I will send you the address."

"Alright see you in a bit." We hang up.

I walk back to the living room when I hear a scream. Abby looks at me.  I run up to Clarke's room Abby doesn't follow. Clarke is sitting up on her bed crying.

"Hey. Hey. Hey. What's wrong? What happened?" I pull her into my chest.

"I had a nightmare that your parents came back to hurt you more. You weren't here when I got up so I thought it was real."

"I'm right here. I was just talking to your mom about the arrangements. No one is going to hurt me." I kiss her head. "Baby look at me." She glances up at me her lips are trembling. "I love you." I softly kiss her lips.

"I love you too." She kisses me back. "So you sticking around for a while?"

"Yep. We are going to work out the payment stuff later but I think we are going to spend today cleaning out the spare room and getting me moved in there." She looks a little disappointed at that. "Don't worry as long as we have Abby's permission we can sleep together every night. Okay?"

"Alright." She kisses me again. "Should we start moving you in then?" She stands up and grabs my bags dragging them into the next room.

It's really not that much of a mess. I look around. There is really nothing much in the drawers or the closet. There is a few things piled on the bed. We remove those and then Clarke removes the sheets taking them to the washing machine. We are organizing my stuff into the drawers when Abby walks upstairs. She is not alone. Uncle Henry is behind her with a tub. He walks in and places it on the bed. He turns, his eyes become glassy when he sees my face. I hug him because I don't want to see him cry.

"I grabbed that special  pillow for you and a few things off your desk. I didn't know which kind of shoes you wanted so I grabbed several different ones." He pulls out of he embrace.

"Thank you for doing that. I think I will be okay here so you don't need to worry much."

"Call if you need anything. I will try to check in on you whenever I can." He turns to Abby now. "Thank you fir doing this. If there is anything you need or she starts getting on your nervous please let me know." 

"I will but I doubt she does." she winks at me.

"Bye kiddo" Henry takes the hat off his head and puts it on mine. "Stay strong and remember I love you." With that he leaves and so does Abby.

I take the hat off my head. Tears form in my eyes it takes everything on me not to cry. I would never expected Henry to be any kind of help when this day I came. I know him and my dad don't always agree but think he would side with me. I walk over to the tub he brought up and unpack it. On top is the picture Clarke painted me for Christmas. She takes it and hangs it up on the wall in place of another one. Most of it is little decorations from my previous room. I sit them on the counter not knowing which ones I will keep. I place my favorite pillow on the bed. He grabbed the majority of the shoes I owned. I organize them on the floor of the closet.  When everything is put away I lay on the bed Clarke goes to take a shower. There are still no sheets but I wrap the comforter around me. I finally let the tears fall. Everything begins to sink in. My eyes are closing when Clarke comes on the room and shuts the door. She wiggles her way in beside me.  I have only been up a few hours but all I want to do is sleep.