The Pain of Loving Her

Chapter 22

It's New Years Eve. Neither Clarke nor I wanted to go to the big party many of the seniors are having. The thing about Clarke is that everyone loves her and knows her. So she gets invited to lots of things. Rarely does she go because she knows I don't want to tag along. We decided just to stay home with and relax. Abby has to go in at 10 tonight so we will have the house to ourself. Abby and I have both been working like crazy this week. It was finally agreed upon that I can pay her $100 a month if I felt obligated. It took much debate just to reach that number I don't think it is high enough but Abby insisted she didn't want any more than that. She said I should save up for a car since my parents took the mine from me. I bet they will give it to Lincoln. I also need to figure out the phone thing because it is a matter of time before they cut me off.

Clarke begins to stir beside me. That girl can sleep let me tell you. She woke about at 11:00 this morning. Then at about 3:00 she stopped me from my homework and told me she wanted to cuddle. She dragged me up to her room ignoring my need to finish the assignment. She turned on the TV, snuggled up against me and with in minutes she was out. It's 4:30 now she finally opens her eyes.

"Mmm Lex." She pulls my shoulder to face her.

"Yes?" I kiss her nose.

"I love you." She kisses me back. "What time is it?"

"Nearly 4:30"

"Really? So I have like 30 more minutes" she turns over like she is going back to sleep.

"Oh no you don't. Let's go down stairs so I can finish my homework and so you can spend time with your mother before she leaves." I roll on top of her showering her in kisses. She try's to push me off.

"Fine fine fine I will go." She sits up. "Sorry for wanting to spend more time snuggled up to you." She actually looks pissed.

"Clarke stop. We get to be together all the time now but if you want to lay back down now we can. I guess my homework can wait." I pull us both down on the bed Clarke grins.

"You're such a pushover Lex" She is giggling now. She is really proud of herself for making me agree to lay back down.

"Oh really." I pretend to get angry. "You can sleep by yourself now" with that I walk out of the room. I give it about a minute.

I sit down at the table to finish my work. Clarke hasn't made an appearance yet. Guess she really went back to sleep which mean she is either mad or thinks I'm mad. I'm not going to go up there though. Instead I help Abby make dinner. Once it's finished I go to get Clarke.

"Wait Lexa I'll get her." I walk back to the table. That was weird. Maybe Clarke really is upset with me. She must have texted Abby or something. They both make their way downstairs. I hug Clarke but she doesn't seem to want it. She nudges me away. Now I'm really hurt. I sit at the table as Abby and Clarke make weird facial expressions at each other. I feel so out of place and confused. Once we finish eating Abby pulls me aside.

"She is not upset with you. I know that's what you're thinking."

"Is everything okay?" Abby just nods and leads me to the living room.

I sit on my normal spot on the floor. Clarke is in the chair opposite of me. She watches basketball because nothing else is on and I watch her trying to figure out what is going through her head. Before I know it Abby is telling us she is leaving. She winks at Clarke and hugs me goodbye.

"So what the hell is wrong?" I say before Clarke can avoid the conversation.

"Nothings wrong. You were just angry." She gets up and walks over to me.