The Pain of Loving Her

Chapter 5

I enter school a little nervous today. I don't know how Clarke is going to be today. Is she going to say something? Will she even talk to me? Is she going to ask question? I'm so stupid. I should have just left her out of it. Too late now though. Guess I'll just have to deal with it. Pretend it is just like any other normal day. Everything is going to be fine. I here someone say my name. I turn around and Clarke is behind me. Shit, shit, shit, everything is not okay, everything is not fine. My stomach begins to hurt, like I'm going to throw up.

"Lex, how was your golf match?" she asks,

"It was pretty good, I guess. I did better than normal but still worse than most of the other." I reply. I catch her looking done at my wrist. How does she know it was that one? I don't think I told her that. I adjust my jacket sleeve and she looks up at me.

"Sorry. I was just looking at that bracelet on your wrist," she is talking about the blue and green braided bracelet on my wrist. I got it when I went to Massachusetts over the summer. The colors remind me of how the earth and sky are connected. "Anyways, I'm sure you did fine. Plus, there is always Saturday right?"

"Don't remind me. This conference match is going to be awful. It is going to take all day and it's going to be so hot." 

"Well depending on when Finn gets off work Saturday, I was thinking that he and I could drive up there to catch your last few holes."

"I would prefer you not to. Plus, it will be boring as hell," most people who don't play golf find it boring to watch. I love to watch. I look forward to the weekend so I can sit and watch it with my dad. Assuming my dad is not being an asshole that day.

"We shall see," we reach her classroom. "See you in a bit." With that she enters and I walk to first period.

I sit down in my seat and Anya comes in. We actually have a bunch of classes together this year which has been nice because usually we only have one.

"Lex, I have an important question."

"Okay" I was a bit nervously.

"So what would you think is I started talking to Nyko again?" Nyko has been one of our friends since the seventh grade. He and Anya have had this weird on and off  relationship for years. They have never officially been together but it has seemed that way.

"That's cool with me. Nyko is a nice guy. Plus, if you guys start dating it means that I am right and you actually do have feelings for people." Anya has never really been one for feelings. Even when we were in middle school at a sleepover and everyone went around telling who they liked. She would say no one. We all would reply with there has to be someone or we won't tell. She would just say boys are stupid or I don't have time for that.

"Feelings are for the weak, hun. I just need someone to talk to."

"That's bullshit. You like him and I have known it for years," she rolls her eyes. The bell rings and the teacher walks in.

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During English I'm playing game pigeon pool with Clarke. She is in Radio doing nothing and I am suppose to be reading a book written three hundred years ago. I don't know why my teacher thinks that old books are the best. Just because they are old doesn't mean they are good. Then again this is the same teacher that told me Harry Potter was trash and that J.K. Rowling was even that great. So her opinion on what is good is slightly off I guess.

Clarke: Dude I'm so damn tired.

me: Go to bed earlier then

Clarke: I couldn't my mind was a bit preoccupied last night.

Did she really care that much that she was up thinking about it? probably not. I bet she was up late talking with Finn.

me: Sorry, that sucks. Take a nap now you know the teacher won't care.

Clarke: I can't sleep in front of people. Plus, I'd rather be chatting with you.

I'm smiling like an idiot at that message. I know she is just saying that to be nice but it makes me happy.

me: Well in that case play me back in pool so I can continue to kick your ass.

She plays me back. I spend the rest of the class alternating between playing her in pool and looking back at those messages. She'd rather be chatting with me. I hope she knows I'd rather be chatting with her than doing anything else. Well almost anything.

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Hi  guys. I think thee is actually people reading this and not just me going back to proof read lol. I'm trying to figure out if the chapters should be longer. Or if there is anything else I should be doing. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I want to make this story at least half way decent, because it is important to me. So any input would be nice. Thanks  for reading and hope you enjoy it!!