The Comeback {A Bensler Fan Fic}

Chapter 42: Her Concern

Olivia's POV

I sighed as I laid in my hospital bed. I had just gotten off of the phone with Elliot, and he was coming up. I needed to talk to him.

I looked down at my stomach and sighed. We had almost lost Briar. It would've killed me if I had let her die, because I didn't realize that I was sicker than I felt.

I yawned and closed my eyes, sleep taking me over once again.

<^>

I woke up when Elliot's warm hand gently touched my cheek. I let my eyes flutter open, and I smiled at my husband.

"Hi." I whispered.

"Hey, beautiful." He whispered back.

"What time is it?" I asked, as I slowly pushed myself up. He sat down next to me and grabbed my hand.

"About 7. It took me a bit longer to get around, since the kids were all in our bed." He smiled, and I smiled back.

"So, you can break the rule of having no kids in our bed, but I can't?" I teased weakly, and he chuckled and nodded.

"You break our rules too much, Livvie." He replied.

"I do?" I croaked.

"Mhmm. Like scaring me half to death."

"I'm sorry." I whispered, as tears welled in my eyes.

"Liv, please don't cry." He begged, but I shook my head.

"I felt like shit, and I didn't realize that it could've been something more than lack of sleep. I'm sorry, El!" I sobbed. He climbed into bed with me and he held me close.

"Don't beat yourself up over this, Liv." He ordered, and I sniffled.

"What if we had lost Briar? Would you have left me? Would we ever be able to have a baby together?" I questioned, my voice holding all the pain I was feeling, just because I was thinking about all of this.

All the what ifs were killing me slowly.

"Liv, don't worry yourself over this. We would still be together, because we love each other. We would've tried again once you were ready again. And we didn't lose Briar. She is still being protected by you." He breathed into my hair.

"But what if we hadn't gotten lucky?"

<^>

I was released from the hospital two days later, which was only because my vitals were doing much better than expected. Elliot hovered over me for those two days, but when I was released, Alex came and got me because the squad had gotten a huge case.

"So, how are you feeling?" Alex asked, and I shrugged.

"I'm okay." I mumbled.

"Liv?" Alex questioned, and I looked over at her.

"Yes?"

"What's bothering you?" She spoke, and I let out a small laugh.

"Everything." I stated, and she sighed.

"Don't wanna talk?" She asked, and I shook my head.

"Nope!"

"Alrighty then." She stated and I gave her a fake smile.

We drove the rest of the way in silence the rest of the way. She parked in the driveway, and kept the doors locked.

"Alex?" I spoke, and she looked over at me and frowned.

"I know what you are going through. How much it hurts to feel like it was your fault. But you got lucky, Liv." She spoke, her voice shaking slightly.

"Alex, what didn't you tell me?" I whispered. She bit her lip and looked down at the steering wheel.

"You know the week before Brian died, and I was really distant?" She asked, and I nodded.

"Yeah. I asked you and Mark if you wanted to bring Luke down so we could spend some time together before Cassidy was born."

"Well, Mark and I had been trying for another baby, and I was pregnant, but I lost the baby." She spoke, and my eyes went wide.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I questioned, quietly.

"Because I was pissed at myself for letting anything happen to my child." She replied, and I frowned deeply.

"You must hate me." I whispered.

"Why would I hate you? You didn't do anything." She replied.

"Because I'm sitting here blaming myself for what happened, but Briar lived. How I've been able to have children, but when you get one, you lose it." I spoke, my voice cracking halfway through.

"Hey, I love you and your kids, no matter what. I've been kinda jealous, but I always know that if I can't have kids, Luke will always have people around him that are like siblings." She smiled weakling and I grabbed my best friend's hand and squeezed it.

"I love you too, Alex."

<^>

The kids got home from school, and I was upstairs trying to sleep more. But the house filled with noise, and I woke up. I wanted to climb out of bed to see them, but I was only supposed to walk an hour a day, because of the whole stupid bed rest thing.

I sat up and anxiously waited for my kids to come up. It took them an hour, and Katie was the first one in, her hand holding Cassidy's, as my two year old walked slowly behind her big sister.

"Mommy!" Katie squealed, and I smiled. She let go of Cassidy's hand and ran to the bed. She quickly jumped onto it, and hugged me.

"Hey, princess. How was school?" I asked with a large smile, and she was about to start talking, but the other kids came in, breathlessly.

They must've heard Katie squeal, and they must've gotten scared that something had happened.

"You're awake!" Finn breathed, and I smiled.

"Well, Becks help Cassidy up? I want to spend time with all of my kids." I smiled.

They all got onto the bed and I hugged each of them warmly, before they told me about their days. I cuddled Cassidy close, and my daughter clung to me.

She had always been a Mommy's girl, because she didn't even get a chance to bond with her father.

"Kids? Where are you?" Elliot called as he came up the stairs. The kids were doing their homework, and I was attempting to help, and also keep them on track.

"In our room!" I called back. Elliot opened our bedroom door and smiled as he looked in.

"Well, I can see you broke this rule again, Olivia." Elliot teased, and I smiled at him.

"Eh, I'm not following that rule anymore. I wanted to spend some time with our kids before you got home." I spoke, and he walked over and kissed me and smiled.

"Happy now?" He asked, and I nodded.

"Very much." 

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