P.S. I'm Dying

GABE

"Ha?" gulat na tanong ko sa kaniya.

"I said you've been here," sagot niya.

"What?" Ayun na lang ang isinagot ko dahil hindi naman ako nagpunta dito last time.

Agad ko nang tinignan ang notes ko, "Okay, what can you say to those people who haven't been here yet?"

"Just come and see." tipid niyang sagot.

Huminga ako ng malalim at tinignan siya sandali. "I mean, any quotations?"

"I do not have any," sagot agad niya.

Okay.

I should go now.

In-off ko na agad ang recorder at saka ako tumayo nang nanghihina ang tuhod.

"Aalis ka na?" tanong niya.
Tumango ako kaagad, "Thanks for the time, Mr. Belen."

"Ah, I should tour you, kahit sandali lang." sabi niya agad at saka tumayo.

And I think I am going to die, thinking that I will spend another minutes with him!

I badly want to go home.

Biglang may phone na nagring, tapos kaniya pala at sinagot niya.

"Hello?" pagbati niya sa kabilang linya.

"Ha. . . What are you—"

"No, I did not. Are you sure?" then there's a smile. tapos ibinaba na niya ang phone habang nakangiti pa rin.

Maybe yung asawa niya. . .

He turned his look at me.

The smile never leaves his face.
May sasabihin sana siya nang biglang magring naman ang cellphone ko.

Kinuha ko agad yun at nagmamadaling sinagot ang caller.

"Hello?" bulong ko.

"Gabe. . ." narinig kong ngawa ni Xaviel sa kabilang linya.

"Oh?"

"I know I have been bad to you ever since but please, pwede bang gawan mo ng paraan kung paano kami magkikita ulit? Parang mamamatay na yata ako. . ."

"May pamilya na siya." mahinang bulong ko sa kaniya.

"Ha? Wala ano. I made a full research, he doesn't have. Yung family na tinutukoy niya ay pamilya ng namatay niyang kapatid."

Kapatid niya? si Angelo? Yung kuya niya? What the hell.

I thought. . . but why. . .

"Ha?"

"I'm his last, that's why I know. Mahal pa rin niya yung first love niya noong high school. And I badly want to kill him pero talagang mahal niya yung girl. Please. . help me,"

Mahal niya yung girl.

First love niya.

Noong highschool?

Of course!

Si Sheryl yun.

"Nasa interview pa ako, Xav."

"Okay, please? "

"Okay." then I hung up.

Lex is wildly staring at me.

"Xav?" he asked.

"A friend, my co-writer. Xaviel." I answered.

Then he went near me.

As in. . .near.

I just stared at him.

Hinawi niya lahat ng nakakawalang hibla ng buhok ko at inipit sa tainga ko.

That gesture.

"How are you?" bulong niya at saka hinawakan ang magkabila kong pisngi. Hindi ako makapagsalita parang itinakbo na ng pusa ang dila ko.

"I missed you." bulong pa niya. Napatikhim ako at saka tumingin sa paligid ko, "Akala ko ba, itu-tour mo ako?" I asked, not looking at him.

"Ah, yes, I—I will." mahinang bulong niya at saka marahang lumayo sa akin. Napakagat labi ako at nauna nang lumakad paalis ng office niya.

Sumalubong sa akin ang photographer ko at sinabing, "Ms. Gabe, I think, we need to take pictures of Mr. Belen."

"Ah, sure." I smiled and turned to see Lex looking at me. "Photos of you daw?"

"Sure, where would you like to take it?"

Tumingin agad ako sa photographer ko na nakatingin sa restaurant. "At the counter, sir."

Tapos magkasama na silang nagpunta doon.

Matapos yun, itinour na ako ni Lex sa lahat ng sulok ng restaurant and I remained distant and silent.

Noong nasa storage room na kami at tinitignan ang mga stock ng ingredients niya, humarap siya sa akin.

His eyes is somewhat confused yet shining. "Gabe."

My name sounds different and something promising in his mouth, so I looked at him. "Oh?" mahinang tanong ko.

He stared at me, and again, lumalapit na naman siya, habang ako patuloy ang unti-unting paglayo sa paglapit niya.

"Do you do you still—do you love me?" I stared at him, eyebrows furrowed.

"Ha?"

I think I'm going to die. How did he find out?. . . Or worst, did he really find out?