I walked out of my bedroom with my head down. Holding onto the railing as I headed down the stairs. Today, is the day I die.
My family was already in the kitchen waiting for me. Mom had tears in her eyes and my dads arms were wrapped around her, my sister stood there with a glum face I hardly ever saw. This is not a good day.
I'm still not sick or anything, this means that I'm most likely going to die violently and no amount of overthinking could prepare me for that. It makes sense now why some people will kill themselves on their death day so that they don't have to die any other way.
Anny embraced me in a hug, I was torn between clutching onto her for dear life, or hanging my limp, lifeless arms at my sides as she hugged me, both seemed appropriate.
I wrapped my arms around her.
I felt a tear hit my shoulder, she was just as hurt as I was, and I allowed her to feel that way.
We let go of each other and Annalynn looked at her watch.
"I wanna take you out." She smiled.
"You wanna take me out on my death day?! Are you crazy?"
"No, I wanna take you out on your birthday." She corrected me. "I wanna take some pictures with you at the meadow, so I have something to remember you by."
I could feel fear creeping through my body, spreading like a virus. Every breath seemed to only get more shallow, every tear seemed heavier than the last, and every heart pound echoed louder and louder in my mind almost making me jolt.
But her voice sounded so calm, and I understand why she would want to do this, but something about the way she looked at me gave me doubts.
I trust her though, so I agreed.
My eyes landed on my parents who looked at me with pity. Despite my previous lack of affection for them, I walked towards them and gave each of them a loving hug as well.
Non of us said a word, we had nothing to say, so we all stayed silent.
Anny took my hand and lead me out of the front door and into her little car.
Tears fell silently from my bright green eyes. The day I have been trying to avoid my entire life has come.
I looked over at Annalynn to see her checking her watch again, and again, and again. I didn't find a reason to think much of it; it's probably just something she does when she's anxious.
My right hand brushed my hair off my shoulders and rubbed my neck. My number is zero. 000. This brought forth a bone chilling jolt of anxiety that felt more like electricity rushing through my body, burning me up from inside out.
The car came to a stop and we stepped out of the car.
My vision was blurry, partially from tears and the rest from blood pumping too fast making me dizzy. My ears wouldn't stop ringing, and it only got louder and louder making it near impossible to hear the birds and the wind and most importantly, Anny.
Nothing seemed real, everything was rushing past me like I was living a dream in fast forward.
We made it to the train tracks before I was even aware that I had started walking. I couldn't see the beauty as I had that time before, it looked more like a horror film, and I was the next victim.
"I want to take a picture with you holding a bouquet of wild flowers," her words, even though gentle, pierced through my mind, snapping me back to sanity. "Because I know how you love nature." She gave a smile, big even though she wasn't showing her teeth, I couldn't help but give a weak smirk back.
She looked at me in silence as her smile slowly fell from her face into a more serious look.
"Could you do one last thing for me Shany?"
"What's that?" I whispered.
She hesitated, looking at the ground before regaining eye contact, "smile."
I really wasn't in the mood for smiling. "It's hard, if I do it won't be real." I confessed.
"Please. For me?" Her eyes were glazed over with tears, I wasn't sure I knew how to smile seeing her like that.
Then she did something I was not expecting, "just a small town girl," she sang. "Livin in a lonely world. She took the midnight train going anywhere."
She grabbed my hands before adding, "c'mon, I know you know the words!" A big, beautiful, wide smile spread across her face. To see her happy was all I needed, my lips curled revealing my teeth in a way that matched my sister's. "There it is!"
"Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit, he took the midnight train going anywherrreee."
We giggled together with our finger intertwined twirling around the meadow like a couple of little girls. For a moment we had forgotten the burden of death.
She wrapped her arms around me, and I the same to her.
"I love you."
"And I love you." I repeated.
YOU ARE READING
One Year Left to Live | ✔️
General Fiction"So this is what it has come down to? A lifetime of anxiety lead me to this moment. But it wasn't worth any of it because this is it; the moment has come anyway. This is where I die and there's nothing you can do about it." - Shanalee lives in an al...
