I laid there, looking around my bedroom. It was small with blue walls and I had black and white stripped bedding. My walls are covered in posters and pictures, but it's not boy bands or cat posters, instead, I have pictures of places I would like to see in the world. Most of the pictures I have are of beaches and forests and meadows, because the outdoors are my favourite place to be. The beauty of it all helps me cope with my anxiety.
Always has.
Thinking about the outdoors brought my eyes to the window, it is a beautiful day, I should sit on the roof. Which I can access from my bedroom window.
I got up and opened my window and crawled out of it. I looked out at the grassy field and the trees that grow at the edge, a tree with a tire swing caught my eye.
~
"Push me!"
I sat on the tire swing, hopelessly swinging my legs. He walked around from behind me and his dark brown eyes looked into mine.
"You have to push me after then." He told me.
"After." I said with my little head up high.
"Pinky promise?"
"Pinky promise."
We gripped pinky fingers, giggling to each other.
"okay." He confirmed.
He pushed me only a couple of times while I yelled 'weeeeee' and then said, "okay mine turn now"
"No way! I barely even got a turn!"
"You pinky promised!"
"That's not fair!"
"Come on! I wanna turn." He whined.
I have a small grumble with my arms crossed.
"Fine, but only because you are my best friend." I told him.
"I'm your only friend!"
"Hey!" I couldn't argue, he was right.
"Do you think we will always be best friends Shay Shay? Like, even when we are 60 years old?"
I rubbed the back of my neck, he doesn't know that I am going to die in 2 years. I told him I was going to live until I was 60 because he was going to live till then.
"Yeah, I think we will be." I lied.
His eyes lit up, "pinky promise?"
"Pinky promise."
~
I came back to reality with a jolt, my heart was racing, my mind was spinning. I have tried so hard for the past 6 months to forget about him, and he just keeps coming back into my thoughts. I really shouldn't be thinking about him. That was half a year ago. It's better this way, I would have just hurt him anyways.
I closed my eyes and rested my back down on the slightly slanted rooftop I was on. I closed my eyes and felt the warmth of the late spring's sun.
I then turned my music up louder in a desperate attempt to drown out my racing thoughts and memories. But the music only hurt my ears rather than make me forget about my problems, so I turned it back down.
I pulled out my phone and went to my ebook. Maybe if I read and listen to music it will help me forget about him.
It did, the book I was reading was so good I couldn't help but be sucked into its world.
With the warmth of the sun, the comfort of my music and the excitement of the book, I finally felt at peace for the first time that day.
But all of my fears came rushing back, like a damn had broke in a river, when I heard a knock on my door.
YOU ARE READING
One Year Left to Live | ✔️
General Fiction"So this is what it has come down to? A lifetime of anxiety lead me to this moment. But it wasn't worth any of it because this is it; the moment has come anyway. This is where I die and there's nothing you can do about it." - Shanalee lives in an al...
