Love Isn't That Spooky

Chapter 19 (Part Two)

A/N: Read the rest of the book while listening to sad music for that full emotion effect :)

Louis POV

I've had a constant headache for months on end and I can see my bones peaking through my skin.  I haven't been sleeping or eating due to the pain and I now look how I feel.  Sick.  Harry's worried and says that I should go to the doctors but what's done is done.  Cupcake keeps hanging around me as though she can sense something coming.  I know what's coming.  Death.

I have terminal cancer.

I went to the doctors a few months ago when I found a lump on the back of my head.  I told Harry that I was going to Zayn's for the weekend but instead I got the lump removed.  They did tests on it and thousands of cancer cells were present.  I was dying. I am dying.

I couldn't bring myself to tell my precious baby.  Not on the day I found out.  I loved him too much to see him in pain.  Seeing him cry brings me more pain then the cancer ever could.  Also, I promised him that I would never leave.  However, he doesn't deserve to be blindly dragged through my suffering, constantly questioning why I'm becoming so frail. 

Gathering all the courage I could muster in my small frame I went and sat down next to Harry on the couch.  For the first few moments I stared out into the night.  All of the stars seemed to be shining extra bright, or maybe it was the frightful tears gathering in my eyes that made them pierce the sky more violently then I was about to pierce Harry's heart. 

"Listen. Harry, I have some sad news to share." I began, my gaze not quite meeting his eyes.  "I'm just gonna come right out and say it.  I-I-I've got terminal cancer." I winced.  I was met by silence that was louder than the screams that echoed in my mind.  

"No." He said staring blankly at me.  "No.  This can't be happening.  Tell me you're kidding Lou.  Louis please." He said shaking his head as tears flowed rapidly down his flushed cheeks.  "No, no, no, no.   It can't be true." He said before falling into my chest.  My body barley took his weight but I still managed to wrap my arms around him.  My heart was breaking all over again because it was me who did this to him.   I had broken him.

"You and I, we were meant to live forever.  This can't be happening.  How could you be taken away from me this soon?" Harry asked, his voice laced with distraught despair.  "Shhhh, it's okay." I whispered while I gently rocked him side to side.  "No.  No it's not you fucking dick head." He yelled, forcing himself out of my arms.  "You're dying Louis and there's nothing I can do to stop it.  Do you know how useless that makes me feel?!"  He spat.  "Well, looks like we'll have to make the most of the time we have left together." I said coldly.  "Yea but how much time do you have left?" He nervously asked - sinking back into my arms defeated.  "You see Harry, that's the beautiful thing about life, no one knows how much time they have left." I said softly into his curls.  "That is not beautiful.  It's depressing."  He whispered into my tear stained chest.   "True.  But I have a knack of seeing the beauty in even the saddest things."        "It's not fair.  It's just not fair." He said, his voice barely audible.  "I know it's not fair baby.  I know it's not." I mumbled, trying in vain to cheer him up.  "What about chemotherapy?" He yelled, shooting up.  I gently pushed him back down and stroked his hair.  "There's little point.  It's already gone too far and I'd rather have a kid take the treatment and survive." I murmured in between quiet sobs.  "But you deserve to live and you deserve the treatment." Harry complained.  "You're only saying that because you love me." I said, letting my regretful tears land in his hair.  "Sometimes love can hurt more than hate." He whispered.  "Now that....is true." I sadly replied. 

A/N: BOOM.  Eve back at it again with the death.  Sorry if this triggered anyone, like I can relate to this family cancer so don't come for me !!! Also I just really fucking love BTS lmao.  Have a good day x