So this is what it has come down to? A lifetime of anxiety has lead me to this moment. But it wasn't worth any of it because this is it; the moment came anyway. This is where I die, and there's nothing you can do about it.
You can't cheat death...
~One Year earlier~
"Shana, Shanalee are you listening to me?"
I didn't answer.
"Take off you head phones and listen to me Shanalee." She sounded stern, but not mad, I could ignore her still, but what good will that do? I can't stall for much longer anyways.
I let out a quiet sigh before taking out my headphones and placing them on my lap. I listened, but did not look at her eyes. I looked out the car window instead, watching the trees and other cars race past in a blur.
My moms meadow green eyes are so similar to my own that I can read them and she and she can read mine. We recognize the pain and sorrow and joy and honesty in the look of each others eyes because we know how it looks on ourselves. So I avoid eye contact almost all the time, especially now.
"You shouldn't be so gloomy sweetheart, it's your birthday! Don't you want to celebrate?"
She knows I don't.
"I find no reason to celebrate the day that marks me being one year closer to my death." This time I looked into her eyes. I held a cold look, but she looked sad and pitiful.
Just like I expected.
"Well sweetheart, would you at least like to go get some ice cream after the graduation ceremony?"
"That's sounds like fun huh Shana?" My dad chimed in, not taking his eyes off the road.
"No thanks Mom." I replied with my eyes down at my lap, I played with the hem of my cardigan. "After the ceremony I just want to go home."
Today is my graduation ceremony, but not the kind you're thinking. I'm only graduating from my grade, grade 10. And because today is my 11th birthday, I graduate to grade 11.
Grades go by the number of years a person has lived, so the one year olds go to grade one, it is pretty much just a nursery. Then the two year olds go to grade two, they are taught to talk and walk and things like that. And the three year olds go to grade three and so on until you become and adult and graduate form grade 17. After that, no one keeps track of how many years they have lived.
The graduation is for the individual student on their birthday. It's a small ceremony, parents and teachers go and you can invite friends if you want, but I don't have any so that just makes today even better.
"Alright sweetie" my mom turned back around in the passenger seat, I didn't look at her eyes but I could sense her disappointment nonetheless.
I picked up my headphones and pushed my brown hair out of the way to put them back into my ears; I resumed my music.
I rubbed the back of my neck; I couldn't feel the number but I knew it was there, and I knew what it said. 001.
Even though the number wasn't said out loud, I could hear it echoing in my head over and over. 'One. one. one.'
I clenched my eyes shut, heat rushing through my body, starting at my heart and spreading to the tips of my fingers in waves. I took a couple deep breathes to try and ease my anxiety, but I was closer to hyperventilating then I was to calming down.
My hands formed tight fists and a tear fell from my closed eye, I couldn't calm down. How could I when I know I have only One Year Left To Live.
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One Year Left to Live | ✔️
General Fiction"So this is what it has come down to? A lifetime of anxiety lead me to this moment. But it wasn't worth any of it because this is it; the moment has come anyway. This is where I die and there's nothing you can do about it." - Shanalee lives in an al...
