Chapter 3

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Y/N and Barry arrived back at the Cortex after taking down Snart to see a very happy team.

"Welcome back," Cisco said standing up and giving Barry a hug.

"It's nice to be back," Barry said hugging the rest of the team, including Joe and Wally. He then returned to Y/N and snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her close.

"Nice suit," Cisco added observing the new suit Barry was wearing. He walked closer to inspect it, although he didn't want to admit it, it was nicer than the one he created.

"Yeah, the speed force failed to mention that a new suit was a perk," Barry replied.

"So, what was it like?" Wally asked stepping forward. Barry knew he was referring to what he went through in the speed force.

"Good, and bad. It was unlike anything I've ever experienced, but I'm just glad to be back," Barry said with a large smile plastered on his face. Y/N could tell by the bittersweet smile on his face that he didn't want to talk about it.

"How do you feel?" Caitlin asked.

Barry shook his head, he was at a loss for words, "Reborn," he replied.

Cisco scoffed, "Well, okay Speedy Jesus."

The team spent the next hour or so catching up, Barry talked briefly about his experience in the speed force. Y/N wanted to ask more, but she knew how hard it was to talk about when she went through it; she decided it best not to talk about it for a while.

After a long night at S.T.A.R. Labs Barry and Y/N arrived home, Y/N took off her jacket and immediately planted herself on the couch. She was exhausted, over the past three weeks that Barry had been gone she had barely slept. 

By the time that Barry had taken off his shoes, and his jacket Y/N was fast asleep. He walked into the living room and saw her, he smiled and grabbed a blanket. He covered her with it before picking her up and carrying her to their room. Barry laid her down on the bed, he changed before crawling in and laying down next to her. She turned and rested her head on his chest as he snaked his arms around her. 

Barry laid there for a while admiring her features, he remembered everything about her when he was in the speed force, and he missed it every hour, every minute, every second of every day. Barry knew Y/N had to have been worried over these past few weeks about him, eventually, her steady breaths pulled him into a deep sleep.

Barry was sleeping peacefully until his dreams were interrupted by a very horrific memory. It was like he was back in that square, Y/N in front of him, and Wally behind him. He told Y/N he loved her, he knew exactly what Wally had planned for him. An overwhelming amount of fear swept over his body, flooding him with worry. He didn't want to leave Y/N, especially not like this. The last thing he saw was Wally's hand vibrating through his chest, and he remembered the pain, the pain of leaving. The feeling of not being able to breathe, his knees hitting the concrete as he collapsed, and the feeling of Y/N's arms holding him up, her tears falling. The horror that took over her face, the terror in her eyes. And then the darkness taking over. That same memory continued to haunt him on repeat.

Barry shot awake, and sat up, he was covered in a sheet of sweat and breathing heavily. Y/N woke up soon after, she opened her eyes and saw Barry, he looked terrified. She scooted forward and wrapped her arm around him,

"Hey, what happened?" Y/N asked putting her other hand on his jaw and turning his head to face her, his eyes were bloodshot, he looked like he had seen a ghost. Barry's mouth opened, but the words didn't come out at first.

"I was there, and it happened again, and again," Barry said tearing up. Y/N saw the terror in his eyes, she knew exactly what he was talking about. She wrapped her arms around his waist tightly and rested her head on his shoulder. Barry began crying heavily at this point, his arms wrapped around Y/N as he leaned on her for support, his head hovered just underneath her chin.

"It's okay, you're okay. You're safe Barry, you're safe now," Y/N murmured as Barry laid his head against her chest. Y/N eventually coaxed him to lay down, his head laid on her stomach, one of her hands ran through his hair, the other tenderly tracing shapes on his shoulder. 

Barry's mind kept drifting to that particular memory, lucky for him he had Y/N. She had managed to comfort him, make him feel safe, just as he did for her so many times before. After about an hour he fell asleep, but Y/N, on the other hand, spent most of the night thinking about what Barry must've felt that night, her thoughts eventually pulled her into a deep sleep.

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