Chapter 5

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Trixie POV

I drive as fast as I can to Brian's house, my tires screeching and my heart almost pounding out of my chest. He never sounds this serious so I'm worried there might be something wrong. Did he get scrapped from the season? Is he ill? All sorts of thoughts circling around in my head. About 25 minutes later I pull up in his driveway and quickly get out. I lock my car and rush to his front door, furiously knocking on his door. After about a minute I hear the lock opening and the door softly opens, only to be greeted with Brian who looks like he's a walking corpse. He sees me and his face lights up, before tightly hugging me. I wrap my arms around him and stroke his back. We're both standing in complete silence until I hear sniffling. I pull back and notice Brian's red, puffy eyes. "Alright, okay, we're going to talk." I say in a soothing voice before making him walk inside and walking in behind him. I make him sit down on his couch where he immediately wraps the blanket around him. His house is dark, really dark. I feel terribly bad for not checking up on Brian for so long. I decide to make him a cup of tea and head into his kitchen. As the water boils I look over the little wall that devides the kitchen from the living room to look at Brian. He's just sitting down and staring at the wall in front of him. My heart shatters into a million tiny pieces. I've never seen him like this and I have no idea how to solve it. I walk back to the living room with two cups of tea and put one down on a coaster in front of him. He looks at it, then looks up at me. A soft and crackly 'thank you' escapes his mouth. "Drink, please." I say to him and he softly grabs ahold of his mug.

As we're both done with our tea and I've set my mug down I look at Brian. "Tell me, what's going on?" I ask him softly. He looks at me, on the verge of crying. "I-I.. I can't do it. I can't fucking do it." He says. "Can't do what?" I ask. "All stars 2," He looks at me. "I can't do it again." He sighs and I raise my eyebrows. This comes as a shock to me. Brian has always been up for competition. "Are you saying you want to drop out? Before it even started? Before knowing how you feel the first day you're there?" I say to him, noticing my voice has become harder. "I- I don't know.." He softly replies. I get up from my couch and sit down on my knees in front of him. "Listen to me-" I grab ahold of his chin and turn his face to face me. "Listen. You're going to do this. You can always drop out if you really don't feel like you belong there. But you're NOT going to drop out before it has even started. And if you're not going to do this for yourself, do it for me. Capiche?" I say to him, finally letting go of his chin and laying my hands on his knees. He stays silent for a good while before grabbing ahold of my hands. As soon as his hands touch mine my cheeks turn a soft pink, luckily it's quite dark. "You're right. Thank you so much." He says and let's go of my hands to hug my tightly. I hug him back for a good while before pulling back. "Want me to stay for a while?" I ask and he nods happily. I kick off my shoes and crawl on the couch next to him.

We spend our time watching dumb movies or old drag race episodes to inspire Brian. He seems happier than he was when I saw him open the door. It kills me from the inside when I see Brian so sad. Right now we're tangled up, my legs around his waist and his head against my chest. We end up like this a lot. Suddenly I see my phone go off on the table. "Can you hand it to me please?" I ask Brian and he extends his arm to grab it and hand it to me. I notice him pausing to read the name on the screen. "Sharon? Why is she calling you?" He asks me before handing it. Fuck. I completely forgot about Sharon. I wait for the call to switch to my voicemail before laying it away again. "Don't know." I say casually. He shakes his head and escapes out of my foot lock. "Sharon only calls you when there's something, I know that. I know Sharon's your drag mom." Brian says to me, now sitting up straight making me sit up straight as well. "Calm down, I don't know why she's calling, really." I say to him. "Then call her back. She'll tell you, right?" He says to me, what looks like a smirk on his face. He always wants to know everything. "No! I mean, I'm spending time with you right now." I say with a nervous giggle. He then all of a sudden pins me down and sits on my stomach, starting to tickle me. I burst into laughter trying to get him off me. "Tell me!" He yells as he continues. "T-There's nothing!" I reply and he stops, moving his face insanely close to mine, looks at me and then moves it to my ear. "Now." He whispers. His breath against my ear makes my heart beat faster. "I.." I softly start. "First get off me please, your heavy smoker body is crushing me." I say jokingly, he laughs and gets off me. I sit up straight, look at him in the eyes and everything falls in place. Why I acted so strange today with Sharon and Justin, why my heart skips a beat whenever I either receive a text or a call from Brian, why I feel like I'm walking on clouds whenever I look into his eyes. I'm in love with my best friend. "Well?" He asks me. I shake my head and sigh. "I, might have feelings for someone." I look at him and for the first time ever I'm having difficulties with reading his expression. He's just, looking at me with a blank face. Then his face turns happy. "Really?! Who?" He asks. I have to swallow. Should I tell him? "Yeah, like I'm going to tell you that. Maybe when it becomes something I will." I reply, laying back into my comfy position. "Aw.. But I wanna meet him." He replied
Oh Brian, you're so innocent.

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