Killing Stalking-KMS

Regrets

"HELP!!!" she knew it was of no use, but the word, the instinct for survival was embedded. "HELP!"

"Who are you calling for help?" He screamed behind her with his hands cupped over his mouth. The rain was beginning to thin out and he watched with joy at how she stumbled in the middle of the street in pain. Completely naked. "Weren't you the one who always said this place would be perfect to commit a murder? Huh? You're right, you know."

She sniveled and gathered her courage to face him. She turned to him and saw him come to her like a predator hunting for its prey. She trembled because of the cold, the fear, the rain. He smiled at her when he closed their distance, the craters in his cheek deepening.

She rose her chin at him valiantly, "Sangwoo, please forgive me. Whatever you're thinking. Whatever you're planning on doing. Please don't. We've grown up together...please let me take Seung to the hospital. We'll say someone robbed us...that we didn't know who it was. We won't name you."

Sangwoo nodded as if agreeing. His tousled hair framing his face, pasted on his forehead.

"Okay, we'll do that," he said agreeably. "Come here." He extended his hand toward hers motioning her to take it. "Let's go back inside and get some clothes on you."

She stood there shaking, looking at him disbelievingly. Then he sputtered cackling making her bounce on her feet. He held his stomach looking up at the sky with his mouth parted in pure enjoyment.

"You stupid bitch," he said breathlessly his smile still pasted on his face. "You're not going anywhere."

FN clenched her fist, biting her lip at his words. She spat on his face before she could think about it twice. He wiped her spit with the back of his hand wiping his smile along with it. He rose his hand and slapped her so hard that she tumbled to the ground. She was dazed for a couple of minutes unable to recover from the shock of her burning face. He squatted down and slapped her again with his strong flat hand until her nose began to bleed.

"You bastard!" She screamed lunging at him, fighting him, cursing him.

Sangwoo overpowered her small frame easily, wrestling her back to the ground and pinning her down with his hand tight around her neck. His weight heavy over her. The power he felt aroused him, but he wasn't going to do anything about his erection. He hated sloppy seconds.

With her bleeding nose and lip, her defiance wavered. She began to beg again. Her teeth seeping with the beautiful color of blood.

"Sangwoo please!" She choked. "Sangwoo I love you."

He frowned and then suddenly his grip softened. She heaved against him. Her face swollen. He caressed the side of her face and traced his fingers against the red bulged marks on her cheeks and neck.

"You do?"

She nodded with a sob.

He stood up with her hair linked in his fingers. He hauled her up to a standing position forcing her back to his favorite place.

"You're going to have to prove it if you want me to believe you."

*************

Bum holds you in his thin arms caressing your back gently. Your damp hair spread against him. You cry on his boyish chest thinking about Junior's words. His blame towards you.

You're the reason I am like this, mother. It is all your fault.

"I did this to him, Bum. I ruined my one and only son."

Bum didn't know what to do or what to say. He felt pulled in all different directions.

He gulped and said, "No. It is not too late. We can be a happy family again."

You sit up and shrug away from his embrace. You know that Bum has stopped taking his medicine when he begins with his delusions of a happy family. He hugs you from behind not wanting to let you go. His arms fold at your hips. His embrace is comforting, but not enough. He kisses your naked back and rakes the damp strands away from your back.

There is regret heavy in your heart when you draw your knees to your chest.

"Do you remember when you had surgery on your legs to fix the badly healed bones?" You don't wait for his response. "That night it was storming very hard. I knew that Sangwoo Jr. was terrified of it. He was so little then."

Momma? Can I sleep with you tonight, please?

"His eyes were so large and he was trembling holding a blanket against him. He jumped every time a lightning bolt would illuminate the house. I knew how much courage it had taken him to even ask me that."

You're a big boy. You can sleep in your own room.

"I took him by the hand and led him to his bedroom and when another lightning bolt struck he jumped and wrapped his arms around me. He begged me not leave him in there alone. He begged me." The tears stream down your face. "I was scared of this vulnerability he was showing me. I was scared of loving him because every day he looked even more like him. I grabbed him hard by the arm and threw him in his room even though the lights had gone and his nightlight didn't work. I held the knob close so he wouldn't get out. He screamed, pounded, and begged and....I ignored him."

You turn to Bum who doesn't know how to react at seeing his protector crying like a defenseless child. All he knows how to do is hold you tight and tell you that everything will be alright. A fear coiling deep in his belly told him that nothing will go back to normal. He fears what decisions you will make come morning...and where it would put him and Sangwoo Jr.

*************

Sangwoo drags a still alive Seung by the feet from the middle of the floor where he had attempted to drag himself outside before he collapsed. FN cried in the corner shivering violently. Her head was killing her and her face was painfully swollen.

She tried to stay calm, to find a way to negotiate with him. She had to be strong if she wanted Seung to live. If she wanted both of them to live. Sangwoo startles her when he throws a blanket at her. She grabs it and immediately wraps it around herself. Sangwoo squats in front of her, his brow creased and pondering.

"Hey, FN. Do you remember when we stayed up searching info about my father, the serial killer?" She forced herself to look at him, blood caked in one nostril, ribbons dried on her chin. She only nods and tries to smile. "I knew you'd remember. You love this gory stuff. This is like your main love here isn't it?" He gestures to passed out Seung who is face down on the floor. Stains of blood dried on the wood. "Anyway, remember how we read he would break his victims' legs so they wouldn't run away?" He yawned tiredly and rakes his fingers through his wet hair slicking the curls back. An immediate fear seizes her as he smiles and reaches for her.

"Who should we start with? You or your boyfriend?"