Uncanny|| E.G.D

You can't

He looked me in the eyes for what seemed like forever with no emotion and finally cracked a smile.
"Really?" He asked.
"Yeah." I laughed and his expression faded.
"No." He shook his head and stepped further away from me.
"God, Ethan, stop doing that!" I yelled, "stop doing this." I said the last part a bit calmer.
"You can't. You can't love me." He said.
"Yeah I can and I do. I'm not going to change how I feel just because you're afraid to let yourself love." I said and he looked at me. "I mean Ethan when you look at me, or when you touch me do you not know how I think of you. There's no way of me lying about how I feel towards you when you can read my brain, Ethan." I walked to him and grabbed his shoulders not breaking eye contact so he'd be sure I was telling every bit of the truth.
"I'm not good for you." He said.
"I don't care. I don't care what you are or what you've done. Right now, right now I know how I feel and I'm not scared to act on it. I promise I'm not saying these things just to turn around and hurt you." I said my voice getting shaky.
"The only thing promised in life, is death." He said and walked away. I collapsed to the ground and put my head in my hands and began to cry, thinking to myself what I could've possibly said wrong. Why can't he just trust me when I tell him that I won't hurt him?
"Hey." I heard Grayson say and I turned to see him standing in the door way.
"You heard." I said wiping my tears and he nodded.
"You just have to give him time." He said walking to me and reaching his hand out to help me up.
"I've done all I can. I made sure he knew how I felt about him." I said standing up.
"And he knows," Grayson paused, "but Ethan, he has trouble committing. His biggest fear is losing the people he loves. So he keeps his circle small. He keeps himself from loving. He knows that the life we're living is dangerous and he also knows that it's his fault you're in it. He blames himself. So I can't imagine what it'd do to him if he let himself love you and something happened to you." He patted my shoulder and turned to walk away.
"Grayson, I know what I'd be getting myself into. I don't care. I want this. How do I make him understand that?" I asked.
"Ethan is a mysterious person, even I haven't completely figured him out." Grayson smiled and walked out of the room.

*Hours later*

I knocked on Ethan's door frame. He looked up from writing in his journal.
"What?" He sighed and looked back down to his journal.
"I've figured it out," I paused and took a breath, "I've figured you out. You love me too and you're afraid to admit it. You're afraid to admit it to me but mostly yourself. You want to believe that someone like me would never have feelings for you. You want to believe that I would only use you, so you can have a reason to push yourself away. You're so afraid to let yourself feel happy for even a second because you're convinced that everything would just fall apart. Well I'm here to tell you that, I'll be here to help you put it all together the best I can and to love you no matter what happens." I said as a tear fell and he walked towards me.
"You're wrong." He said only centimeters away from my face.
"Am I?" I raised one eyebrow and looked at him. He leaned closer and I closed my eyes until our lips connected. It was a feeling I've been wanting to feel for a long time. He pushed me to the wall extra gentle and didn't break the connection. Our lips moved together for a while and we disconnected to catch our breath. He kept his hands on my cheeks and looked me in my eyes.
"You're so beautiful." He smiled and I smiled back.