Love Lessons

Chapter Forty Three: Stay, Stay, Stay

43| Jess

  ~*~I think that it's best if we both stay~*~

                “Can I have my ring back or not?” I blurted as I shoved a double cheeseburger topped with French fries in my mouth. Cole choked on his burger and gulped his soda quickly to recover himself. I smiled sheepishly as I continued to chow down the massive amount of food I was consuming. Timing and following out appropriate conversations was not my best quality, but I think my message got across from the way his body froze. His hazel eyes widened and stared at me for a good five seconds while he figured out what I was saying. Honestly, it wasn’t as if it was a hard question; it was something I was thinking about.

                A month had passed since that wonderful gathering with his mother and now we were slowly falling back into our old ways. It was obvious Cole still felt guilty about what happened and how he tried to prevent it, but I was over it. I was over the apologizing and the way he tiptoed around me because he didn’t want me to end things with him forever. He was being too nice to me and catering to my every need. It wasn’t a bad thing; but it was annoying as hell.

                I loved him. I knew that; I still loved him after he ate three spicy tacos from a new Mexican restaurant and gotten sick from it. I still love him after he tried to make me a nice dinner in the dorm’s kitchen and burned the food and set off the smoke detector. I still love him after everything we’ve been through; there was no way I was going to let him go. Everyone had their own problems in their relationship and this is one of them. Cole was my first everything; he meant more to me than he even knew and yet he acted as if I was ready to toss him aside and find someone better.

                We were in this awkward place of trying to move on and keeping it at a slow place. Just the mind games and the questions I had running through my head half the time could make me vomit. It wasn’t as if he cheated on me or something else drastic happened; he dumped me to protect me. Not one of his finest moments, but he had good intentions and I respected that and that’s why we needed to move on. I wasn’t okay with us acting this way; I wanted the shit I gave him back and I wanted him to still be his dick headed self.  I fell in love with his personality and his idiotic remarks; there was no way I was going to put up with a nice guy now.

                “What?” He coughed, staring at me as if I had grown three heads.

                “I said-“

                “I heard what you said, Jess.” He lamented. “Why?” He asked quietly.

                “It’s mine.” I deadpanned.

                “I want you to have it back, but I didn’t know where we were or where you wanted to be.” He whispered, causing me to grow angry with him. Sometimes, he really didn’t think about certain things. I was supposed to be his girlfriend; there was no other reason why I couldn’t have the ring, if we were going back to the way it was, I deserved to wear that shit.

                “Oh, you’re so full of shit.” I whined. “It’s not as if we can’t move on from this; we’re probably being dramatic by holding out longer than we should.”

                “I don’t want you to regret anything, Jess. I was giving you your space to decide if you wanted to take me back. I would understand if you didn’t; I ruined everything.” He said softly.

                “Cole; I love you, I’m not going to leave you because you’re a fucking idiot half the time.” I said for the hundredth time.