Love Lessons

C H A P T E R T W E L V E || J E S S

|➳| N E W S T A R T |➳|

For a week, I have done nothing but show up to class and returning to the dorm to lie in my bed. Riley quickly picked on my depressive behavior and urged me to call my doctor. She didn't know specific details of my past, but it didn't take much for her to assume I wasn't stable. She monitored my medication intake and even stayed closer to me than normal. I wasn't oblivious to how she was treating me, but I was grateful for it. Riley never pushed me to talk about what happened and even though I knew I could talk to her about everything, I didn't. There were plenty of times where she questioned Cole's role in my current behavior, but she never pushed me over the edge.

Thanksgiving break was around the corner, and everyone was looking forward to it. Not only did it mean a break from the horrible amount of homework and exams, but it meant seeing our families and eating good food. Even professors were excited, if they hadn't already cancelled classes, they planned to end early. They discussed it as November rolled around the corner, and I knew that meant I would have more time to be alone.

Unfortunately, I had no idea what I wanted to do. Since my father couldn't come home, I had no other alternative. The only place I could go to was my Aunt's house, and she made it clear she didn't like me because I resembled my mother. Home wasn't a safe place for me anymore and I wasn't sure where I would go or what I would do. Staying on campus would be costly and more depressing, and going home would result in sitting in an empty house.

I didn't even know how I would get home; my car was back in my tiny garage.

My loneliness was sending my anxiety over the roof. I felt as if I was swimming underwater, almost above the water in fresh air, but not quite there. I knew if I didn't shake this feeling I would have to contact my doctor again, something I didn't want to do.

As expected, Cole has not contacted me in the past week, easily confirming my assumption on him being a jackass. It was blatantly obvious he built walls around himself to keep him from getting hurt, but I couldn't play therapist. Fuck, I couldn't even help myself and trying to help Cole would just ruin me. I couldn't focus on him, any extra energy I had I needed to focus on myself.

It wasn't until Wednesday afternoon when Riley barged into the dorm room with news of Cole. She looked happy and jittery as she pounced on my bed, making my homework fly onto the floor. Her eyes glittered in excitement as she stared at me like a toddler.

"Yes?" I huffed, reaching over the bed to grab my homework.

"Guess what!"

"What?" I sighed. I figured it would be gossip or something about one of her favorite stores, as seeing as she didn't do much of anything else.

"Cole started a whole fight in the locker room because of you." Now that had my attention. I didn't expect her gossip to include me.

"What?" I shrieked, flying up from my bed. She giggled and played with her hair, clearly enjoying my reaction.

"Apparently, some guys at practice saw you two at dinner last week." My heart stopped, realizing how badly this could be. "I guess they were saying some shitty things and making fun of you and Cole snapped!" She bubbled. "He fought them! The coach had to break it up and most of them were hurt. I guess Cole was so angry they had to take refrain him from getting at any of the guys."