Maybe

8- Gone

My wrists ached and my head pounded from the impact on the fall I took after John shoved me on the ground.

I couldn't stop my crying from the pain at my wrists and the heartache. I have never experienced this much pain in my live from a boy.

Yeah, I had one boyfriend before but he treated me like shit and I didn't love him like a love Matt; it's just different.

I crawled towards my freezer; I needed some sort of relief. Once I was close enough I opened the freezer door up and wrested my hands on a bag of frozen peas.

I was in shock and I couldn't stop shaking. My cries stopped but I was just thinking about Matt at this point.

Did I ruin everything?

...of course not, John ruined everything. I don't even know what Matts thinking. I needed to explain.

I had to control myself and be strong. I stood up off the ground and gripped the table.

I let out a loud scream and quickly let go of the table. That shot too much pain in my hand and I couldn't handle it. I screamed again and tears poured out.

I slowly struggled my way up the stairs and walked in my room and collapsed on the bed. I grabbed my phone and slowly tried to hold it and it was hard but I still had to try and contact Matt.

"What did you do?" -Johnny Boy

"What happened?! Justine!!!! Matts not talking to me." - Ryan😋

I called Ryan and told him I would be at his house in a couple minutes. I told Johnny to be over as well.

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"GUYS I SCREWED EVERYTHING UP, NOTHINGS GOING TO BE THE SAME IM SUCH A STUPID SCREW UP." I cried as I ran into Ryan's room and jumped on the bed.

"I'm serious guys, Matt hates me. He left as he saw that stupid ass new kid kiss me."

"Justine stop." Johnny said sitting beside me. Ryan came beside me as well and rubbed my back.

"I don't know what to do. He's already broken." I cried and hugged Ryan tightly.

"He will never hate you. He's your best friend." Ryan explained.

"I don't know..."

"Justine just please listen to us." Johnny said holding my arms.

"STOP DONT IT HURTS." I cried

They were taken back and questioned me. Ryan looked down at my wrists and saw the finger outlines all over my arm.

"What exactly fucking happened. This is twice." Johnny shouted.

I started tearing up remember the look John gave me as he was holding onto me.

"This new kid..John Williams.. We were working on a project at my house and when we were done we just watched tv and shit. Matt said he was going to come over to print stuff. Well after I went into the kitchen and John pushed me in the corner and kissed me. BUT OF COURSE MATT HAD TO WALK IN WHEN HE WAS KISSING ME. Well Matt ran out and John wouldn't let me go. I struggle to chase after Matthew but John was squeezing my wrists as tight as possible. And yeah. I can't do shit, I'm in too much pain." I hiccuped.

They we were pissed off, they were repeatedly saying how much they hated John and how much they wanted to punch his face in.

"GUYS GUYS... Guys calm down. I'm going to go try Matt now."

I left Ryan's house and slowly walked I Matts house.

30 minutes later I walked up to his front door and knocked.

"Hey Justine, do you know what's wrong with my son?!" His mom asked me.

"Uh not really. I just came by to check on him." I said trying hard to look happy.

"Okay sweetie, he's in his room. He's been there for a couple hours now."

"Thank you" I smiled and ran up the stairs.

"Matt, let me explain." I knocked on his door. Damn him for having a lock.

"Stop Justine, you obviously don't like me. I thought what we had was genuine. Damn it's been 2 days, I knew I shouldn't of asked you."

"Matt. Open this door." I screamed; my voice was shaking.

"EVERYTHING OKAY UP THERE?" Matts mom screamed.

"Yeah don't worry, everything's fine" I shouted back.

"Matt open this door and let m..." He swung the door open. "..me explain." I finished my sentence.

"No let me talk." He said slamming his door.
"You would think after 8 years I would know how you are. I was so fucking wrong. You're just like everyone else. I'm so utterly too in love with you to realize how you really are. You're just like Maria. I don't know why I fall for the cheaters." He screamed in my face.

"W..what. Matt n..no I'm not like her. Let me expl.." I cried walking towards him.

He backed up and looked at me with disgust.

"YOU THINK I WILL BELIEVE YOU. STOP MESSING WITH ME IM NOT GOING TO BE WITH YOU ANYMORE JUSTINE. IM FUCKING DONE WITH EVERYONES SHIT." He screamed at me as tears blurred my vision.

"MATTHEW STOP I DIDNT DO SHIT." I screamed and grabbed his arm.

"JUST LEAVE I DONT KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I CAN TAKE EVERYONES SHIT. I HATE MY LIFE. I HATE EVERYONE; I HATE YOU."

My mouth opened up. I was speechless; he can't hate me, he can't hate me, he can't hate me. It felt as if my heart has just been torn out of my body and stepped on until there's nothing left of it. He hates me. I was furious, I was more mad than sad at this point.

"HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE. YOU WONT EVEN LET ME TALK. I'm sorry I'm a screwup. I'm sorry you walking in on John fucking kissing me. Yeah that's right I didn't do shit Espinosa. He came onto me and he literally wrapped my wrists off. I can't even move them without hurting." I screamed at him and he looked at me; his face softened.

I was still disgusted by his words and I was hurt. "I don't give a fuck what you do with your life anymore because you won't have to have me in it anymore. If you hate me that much to say our friendship was a mistake I don't think I need to be hanging around an idiot." I couldn't handle it anymore, my legs shook and I collapsed on the ground.

"Justine, I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." He cried trying to comfort me.

"DONT TOUCH ME, DONT TALK." I shouted in his face.

My sobs filled his room as his Mom walked in.

"Can you drive me h..ome...home please." I cried.

"MATTHEW LEE ESPINOSA WHAT DID YOU DO." She shouted at him. He cried and looked at me.

"I'm so sorry Justine, I love you." He cried as his mom helped me up.

I looked at him and didn't say a word.

"I will get Matthew to explain everything when I get home. I'm so sorry for what ever he did Justine. Take care sweetie." She smiled and drove off.

I walked into my bedroom and locked my door.

Matthew, my best friend, my boyfriend, my everything... is gone.