Maybe

3- Regret

"Hey, Justine where did you go after I got hurt. I saw you follow me to the change rooms but you never came in."
-Matty😻

"What happened? Why did you need to leave so early. I know you're not okay"
- Ryan😋

"Hello, Justine?! Answer my calls please 😫" -Matty😻

"What's going on?!" -Johnny Boy

My phone kept beeping over and over; texts from Matt, Ryan and Johnny. They started to die down but Matt kept trying to call me. I was still crying; I'm such a whimp though. I can't handle scratches and a twisted wrist.

My phone kept ringing and it was still Matt trying. I grabbed my phone and answered it.

"Hello?" He asked me. "Hi" I said. I answered short because I was scared my voice was going to crack and he would for sure know I'm crying. "Where have you been?" Matt asked me. "Sick" I said bluntly.

"Do you need me to come over?" He asked me. He wasn't getting it, I didn't want to answer his questions. "N..No no it's f..ine." Shit, my voice cracked. "You're not okay , you've been crying. Justine what's wrong?" He asked trying to soothe me, whispering into the phone.

"Nothing's wrong Matt just drop it." I whimpered. I was crying again. I sniffled and he knew I was crying. It was obvious. "Justine..." He sighed. "I'm here to talk too, just tell me please."

Why does he want to know what's wrong. Your crazy ass girlfriend threatened me and assaulted me. He won't believe me. And he probably wouldn't do anything about it.

"Nothing's wrong. I gotta go." I told him.

"Fine, can we hang out though? I'm bored?" He asked me and I didn't know what to say.

"Ummm, no my Moms taking me to see my cousins. Sorry bye." I said quickly.

"Oh b..." I hung up as he was talking.

I feel super bad about this and how I can't talk to my best friend.

I called Johnny and he picked up. "H..hey can you pick me up. I need to talk to Ryan and you." I said. "Sure, Justine are you alright?!" He questioned. "Yes hurry" I rushed him and hung up.

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I sat on Johnny's bed and explained what happened. I pulled my sleeve up and to let them see my wrist and my arm. The scratches and bruises she gave me.

"Holy shit. You can't let her do that we have to tell Matt. He's dating a monster." Ryan said and shook his head.

"Nooooo you can't. He will hate me forever and who knows what Maria will do she will kill me." I said exaggerating

"Matt will never hate you... He loves you. Like he's legit in love with you." Johnny said slapping a hand over his mouth as soon as he said those words.

I was shocked at what I heard. But it wasn't true, why would Matt like me. I'm just plain old me. Maria is so pretty but her personality is no where there. I had a little but of hope when Johnny said he loves me but it all disappeared. I don't want to lose our amazing friendship with a stupid crush that will probably be gone in a week.

"No guys that's not true. Even if he did love me nothing would be the same."

"Well if we can't convince you... Can we tell Matt that the feelings are mutual!?" Ryan asked me and I shook my head no. "Things would be so awkward."

"FINE OH MY GOD WE ARE TRYING TO MAKE YOU HAPPY" Johnny shouted rather loudly.

"The least you could do is explain to Matt what happened." Johnny suggested. I shut that suggestion down and later that day I went home.

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5 DAYS LATER

I have been avoiding Matt all week, also I have been avoiding his physco girlfriend. Everyday after school Matt would always ask if he could pick me up to hang out but I always said no.

I was thinking about going to his house and telling him, but I want him to be happy with Maria... Even though I hate the bitch.

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2 WEEKS LATER

I am still avoiding him. I start to hang out with Alexis and Marielle more than Matt. I always go to Ryan or Johnny's house after school though.

"You know matts been wondering what he did." Johnny said.

"Yeah he's not the same anymore Justine.... I'm actually worried this time. He sounds depressed." Ryan says and let's his head fall towards the ground.

"You have to tell him." Ryan says again.

"I know I will, I just need a couple more days." I explain.

"I'm scared he's going to break and commit. I'll be devastated." Johnny says and he starts to frown.

"Stay positive guys, I bet he's just fine" I say trying to lighten up the mood. Inside I am hurting too. I don't have Matt around and it's killing me. I always use to tell him my problems and how I felt. But he's not around anymore because of his girlfriend.

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6 DAYS LATER

It has been pretty hard not talking to Matt or seeing him.

I lay in bed and just think for at least 30 mins until I get a phone call. It's Matt and I ignore it. He left a voice mail and I click to listen to it.

"I'm so sorry Justine. I don't understand what I did wrong. I'm a horrible person and I don't know what I'm doing on this earth anymore. I can't even think straight anymore. Well you don't have to be annoyed by me any more because this is probably the last hour I'm going to be alive. I can't take handle the pain anymore and all the pressure of not being good enough. Maria always tells me to be someone who I'm actually not. And now I see what you saw. She's changing me, you were so right. I'm so sorry for not believing you... What I'm trying to say is that I'm going to do it. I'm going to end my life in a couple minutes and nothing will stop me... Ugh.. I have loved you for a long time now and I didn't realize it until a couple months ago. I'm so in love with you, you don't understand. I hope you live a good life and find a special guy that will treat you right and will love you for you.. just like I do. I'm so sorry Justine, I love you. Bye." beep the voice mail ended.

Tears were flowing down my face as I grabbed my car keys and sped to Matts house. He can't die, he can't die, he can't die. I love him too much.

I ran out if my car and grabbed the spare key that was in the plant next to the door. I had the hiccups from crying too hard. I opened the door and screamed "MATTHEW" no one answered.

Please no please no. I was sobbing really loud as I ran up the stairs towards his room. I walked into his room and towards his bathroom and saw him laying on the ground.

"Matt no no no no noo. Please stay with me." I cried. His eyes were starting to shut and I looked around. There was a bottle of pill empty on the ground. "Fuck why would you." I cried. I had an idea. I sat him up and leaned him over a bit.

I made him throw up the pills as I was rubbing his back. He threw them up and coughed. He started to close his eyes. "Matt, it's okay I'm here now and I'm not leaving" I whispered. I held him tightly and struggled to help him walk to his bed. I laid him down and held his hand as I sat on the floor.

I looked over at him and caressed his cheek. "I'm so sorry, I wasn't there and I didn't know you needed me. I'm horrible. Matt I'm sorry, please be okay I love you." I said and kissed his cheek. I kept holding his hand and I fell asleep.