Chaos

XXIII: my deepest desire

I SAT ON the grass at the top of the hill, watching two planes collide and slowly fall. The smoke fluttered beside them and in the blink of an eye, over a hundred people lost their lives.

        I blinked, my gaze unwatered by the tragic event I'd witnessed but could do nothing about. It was surreal, like a movie had played in real life and was now replaying in my mind. All their lives were lost in the blink of an eye. They probably were so afraid as they bumped into the other plane, clearly the pilots were the first to go and anyone seated in the front.

        The others had to endure the oxygen loss, the quick descent to earth and the slower death. At least they got to say their goodbyes. And then where the plane landed, on top of others homes, destroying it and possibly injuring the people in then too. The fatalities would be too much.

        Without thinking, I stood up and began running to where the planes had crashed. I was so afraid, wanting to do anything I could to save the people who merely wanted to get from point A to point B. I saw the fireballs of smoke as the engines erupted. I heard screams and sprinted even faster, my legs burning now. If I could save one person, just one Taylor, try Taylor. I thought to myself as I finally arrived.

        A large crowd of people surrounded the area and I knew there were tears streaming down my eyes. That could've been me, it could've been someone that mattered to everyone. Without thinking, I quickly grabbed a door and snatched it open, adrenaline pushing over me as I heard people yelling at me to get down. To get off, to wait for people to come save them. It was as though they didn't realize that this was all about timing. Every second that I let pass, someone could be losing their fight and going to the land beyond.

        The front of the plane that I had entered was filled with blood, splattered everywhere as I made my way there, in search of any survivors. Everyone seemed in shock. My eyes landed on a child, a scar on his head as he screamed at his mother to wake up. My eyes ran wild as I rushed over to him, trying to remain strong.

        "Mom! Wake up mom!" He shouted as tears flowed from his eyes.

        "Hi, I need you to come with me and find anyone else who is awake. Please help me." I cried as the kid glanced at me.

        "My mom!" He shouted as he hugged her lifeless body. Within seconds, the woman opened her eyes and I couldn't tell if she had actually just been asleep or if she'd been brought back from the dead.

        "Hi, please take your son and wake up anyone who is still alive." I commanded, "please help me." The woman must've seen something on my face, probably the panic of a broken woman, as she immediately stood up as though her forehead wasn't bleeding and her foot was in the right place and immediately did as I said- directing others to do the same.

        "Hello, sir are you here, stay with me." I shouted, slapping people's faces to wake them up. Low oxygen was a major problem. The majority of the people in the back had woken up but those in the front seemed long gone. I cried for them and the losses of their families as I was immediately told to leave by a man in a black vest.

        "Excuse me, Miss, would you mind escaping before this plane combusts. The majority of people are outside- but why are you still in here."

       "By saving others, I am saved." I whispered as the man nodded. I took with me a crowd of twenty and made my way out.

        After about an hour, the crowd grew a bit and I was happy for all those who survived. I began walking away when the same man from earlier approached me.

        "Hi miss, I was informed by several passengers that you were the one to help them out." He said as I shook my head.

        "No, must've been another girl. I'm just glad everyone is safe." I smiled and walked away, walking all the way to Matt's house and heading straight to the guest room.

        News had traveled around the school that David was missing. Obviously everyone missed him considering he was a popular football player. Nobody knew of his kidnap, but once his parents filed him missing- it seemed like the entire town freaked out.

        I had stopped going to school as well. I couldn't show my face without worrying about Tank- or Lloyd every second. I spent my days at Matt's home, or on my hill contemplating everything and wishing David was here.

        All I knew was that David was still alive, I sensed it. And if I couldn't save him, I could save the people on the airplane. Diana and I had gotten well acquainted. It had been a week after all and I was living in her home.

        Matt was out most of the day, probably on other super secret missions while I stayed here humoring myself. They said they would track Lloyd from my phone, the could track David from my phone. But it seemed like empty promises because now, a week later, as I lay on the guest bed, I actually wondered if I would ever see David again. If life would actually go back to normal again. If I would ever see my mother again. What my father had done. It seemed like I had reached my lowest low at the bottom of a pit with no light at the end of the tunnel or any way out.

        I shut my eyes and let sleep take me.

***

"Taylor! Wake up! We found him!" Matt's excited voice rung through the room, his enthusiasm annoyed me as I covered my head with a pillow. I knew I should've been excited and I should've hopped out of that bed and ran to find David. But I couldn't move. I physically couldn't get out of the bed as Matt sat at the edge and watched me.

"I can't get up." I said, turning to look at him.

"Taylor, I know you must be feeling awful, but there is still hope. We still need to keep you safe, but we found David. It seemed Lloyd had dropped him off at a gas station and left. He's at the station, they're questioning him right now- you can pick him up with me tonight if you want. If you want to go see him... they're just trying to see what happened and why Lloyd chosen now to release him."

I sighed, looking at the ceiling with grief-filled eyes. I stared at Matt, he looked so genuinely happy for me when all I wanted to do was cry. I was in absolute disbelief.

"Let's go. I want to see him." I whispered, rubbing my eyes and sitting up.

"Atta girl." Matt smiled, patting my back as he left the guest room. I should've felt something- anything, but I couldn't let myself enjoy the feelings of hope when all that welled inside me were nerves. After a few moments, I sat up, changed and went downstairs. Matt's family was too cute. Each morning his wife and daughter would be cooking breakfast together and then we would all eat together. Then Matt would leave for work and later his wife would drive their daughter to school then head to her job also- I think she's a teacher because she doesn't come back until a few hours until her daughter takes the bus home. I was usually alone in their home for about 8 or more hours every day and that's how I discovered my hill.

"Ready to go?" Matt turned to me, finishing his cup of milk and standing. He kissed his daughters cheek and his wife and whispered something that made her giggle. It was sickening watching them when I was in such disparity. I nodded and walked to Matt's car and headed to the station.

A few days ago, I would've never suspected that Tank or Lloyd would ever be set free, but he got out on bail and escaped the prison like it was nobody's business. He had seen me when I pointed him out, maybe that compromised where I was or it made him realize that I was untouchable. Nevertheless, he had finally released David and I needed to go see him.