Recluse

Chapter 40

The sound of the old, gasping air conditioner of Zayn's ancient vehicle is the only thing breaking the silence between us. 

I'm staring out the window, eyeing the dark cemetery. Thinking. Thinking about the first time me and Niall met, and how it feels so terribly long ago. I feel so much older than I was then, even though it was just a few months ago. Like... Why the f.uck did I think it was normal and okay to have a relationship with a boy with intense and obvious PTSD? A boy that chased people with knives and only opened his mouth when he was singing to a grave? A boy that everybody in town was convinced was a murderer?

I still can't explain my thought process from back then. All I know is that he had me the second our eyes met. When those blue eyes looked into mine, I was done. I was his. No matter how crazy it was. 

And even though our little relationship has basically destroyed me AND my family, it did seem to snap him out of whatever trance or shock he was in from the whole Cynthia situation. Maybe that's all my purpose was in his life. Maybe we weren't meant to be together, but maybe I was necessary for him for a time, to help him move on and start over. 

"So what's the game plan? When shall the 'making out' commence?" Zayn finally breaks the silence, sideways glancing at me.

"Someone's eager." I mumble, throwing a smirk his way. I'm sort of being a bitch by doing this with him... Using him to make Niall jealous not once, but now twice. But I guess he knew what he was signing up for by agreeing to my terms. 

"How could I not be?" He responds, and I can't tell if he's joking or not.

I turn towards him fully, a question in my eyes, "Zayn..." 

He leans closer to me, squeezing my hand, "Don't worry about it. We're just friends, I know that. I'm five years older than you, for god's sake, I know we won't end up dating, no matter how much you'd love it. You little pervy bobcat."

"Pervy bobcat?" I cringe and laugh at the same time, "Why would you call me that? What could that possibly mean?"

"A cougar is when an older person goes for someone younger. There's gotta be a feline name for when a younger person goes for old dudes, such as you." He explains with a smirk.

"I just love making out with people that call me a 'pervy bobcat'. Really turns me on." I joke with a sarcastic grin.

"Then let's get down to business." He whispers, eyeing my lips.

"To defeat the Huns." I whisper back cheekily. And somehow, even with my dorky quoting of Mulan, he connects his lips with mine. The kiss quickly deepens, and I feel him run his fingertips along my jaw, giving me goosebumps.

He's a great kisser, there's no denying that. Our lips mold together and his tongue slowly enters my mouth. I run my hands through his strangely soft hair. Seriously, it's softer than mine. I make a note to myself to ask him what he puts in it later.

I almost laugh when I remember that Harry is also watching this little show of ours. His aunt lives right across the street from the cemetery, so I asked him if he could keep an eye on us in case anything bad happened. Not sure what would happen, but it's better safe than sorry. I don't want Niall trying to kill Zayn because of jealousy.

My heart beats irregularly in my chest. My physical form focuses on making out with Zayn, but my mind wanders. Is Niall here? And if he is, is he watching this? What is he thinking? 

I'm hoping that soon he will come and interrupt us, eyes wild with jealousy and voice in a low growl. He did tell me in his letter to meet him here yesterday. He has to be here. What possible reason would he have to make me an empty promise like that?