Recluse

Chapter 34

I suddenly feel nauseous, "Zayn. He's-he's coming over here..."

"Madison that's a good thing." He coaxes me, squeezing my hand with a calm smile.

"In what way is this good?!" I panic.

"We wanted him to see us kissing so he'd speak to you. Now he's about to. He's almost over here, stay cool. Look less terrified." He commands.

Zayn suddenly bursts into realistic fake laughter, eyes suggesting me to join him. I try my best to fake laugh, but I feel as if anyone looking at me can see how forced it is.

Niall finally reaches us, shooting a distasteful look at Zayn and then at me, and then at our intertwined hands on the table, "Madison, may I speak to you?" He asks gruffly, frowning.

I don't know what's going on with me. I feel nauseous, but somehow these words leave my lips while my bold gaze looks up at him, "No."

He sighs, biting his lip in frustration, "We have a lot we need to talk about."

"Do we? Because if I remember correctly, you said you didn't want to explain anything to me. You told me to get out of your room." I spit, venom dripping from every word.

"I know." He says through gritted teeth. I watch him grasp for the right words to say, but he can't come up with them. With an irritated groan, he whips around and limps back to his table.

Zayn gives me a wide eyed look, "Wow. I'm impressed, Kelly."

"What?" I look at him, puzzled.

"That's your last name..." He reminds me, smiling patiently as if I'm a child.

I bury my head in my hands, groaning, "I'm an idiot. I wanted him to talk to me, and he tried, and I pushed him away."

"He's a man, if he loves you, he'll try again. He'll fight for you." Zayn reassures me.

"He's not like that. He's fought his whole life. He doesn't fight for people anymore." I explain in a breathless whisper, remembering the strenuous weeks of effort it took me to gain his trust and win his heart in the first place.

Zayn purses his lips, hesitating before remarking quietly, "Then maybe he isn't the one for you."

For the first time, I consider this, shrugging, "Maybe he's not."

I deserve someone who will fight for me. And so far, I've done most of the fighting in this relationship.

I twirl my fork through the artificial pasta on my tray. Maybe me and Niall have gone through too much together. Maybe we're too far gone. Maybe it's time to let him go.
~

Zayn's lunch break ends and he's forced to go back to work. I kiss him goodbye in front of the entire cafeteria, feeling Niall's eyes burn into me even without glancing in his direction.

Zayn disappears into the restroom to throw on his nurse uniform. I slip on my jacket and prepare to leave when a rough hand grips my shoulder.

I wince, spinning around, "Ow, what the-" my throat is suddenly dry and I can't force words through it.

He's so close to me, I can smell his clean, detergenty scent, mixed with his Irish spring cologne that I love so much. It's intoxicating, as are his dark eyes as they glare down at me.

"We need to talk. Come with me."

"I'm not-" he grabs my hand, leading me down a random hallway against my will. I can't pull away or protest. My skin burns where he touches me, but it's a lovely burn that I've missed. I wonder if he knows the effect he has on me.