Recluse

Chapter 8

10:22

The glowing red clock in the corner is the only indication of how much time has actually passed.

Me and Niall have been sitting on his dusty old couch for a pretty long time in utter silence while he decides where to begin his tale. I watch him curiously. His brow is furrowed in concentration and his gaze is fixed on a far away point, one I'm unable to see. Every once in a while, he opens his mouth and then shuts it, as if he wanted to start at a certain spot but changed his mind.

But at 10:22, he finally clears his throat and begins to speak in a distant tone of voice.

"It happened on a Sunday... A couple of years ago... I lived here but this house was much nicer. I lived here with my mother and father..." He swallows hard and I nod for him to continue.

"I went to school at the very same school you go to now. It was four years ago, I was a freshman in highschool." 4 years ago I was in 7th grade. So he's two years older than me. I nod and he continues, "I was new to the school and so was this other girl. Cynthia Porter was her name." A faint smile forms upon his lips, "She caught my eye the first time I ever laid eyes on her. The most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Beautiful short black hair, enchanting green eyes. The second our eyes met- this may sound insane, but I knew we were meant for eachother. And so did she. We were close as can be just 2 days later. A week after that we were dating. And we were inseperable from that day forward. She was my first love and we both were thoroughly convinced that one day we were to be married." His gaze locks on mine, a sudden intensity in it, "We weren't a couple of teenagers overreacting. It was real, Madi, it was real love. I loved that girl so much..." He pauses for a moment, taking a shaky breathe.

"Cynthia Porter..." I whisper, realizing that that's the name on the gravestone Niall always sings to every Sunday. I quietly ask, "She died, didn't she?"

He flinches at the word "died", but nods slowly, "In the most horrible way...."

I bite my lip, waiting for him to continue.

"I-I... We dated our entire freshman year without once getting into a real arguement. We were a perfect match and I loved her to death. I thought she felt the same but one day, she invited me over to her house... I expected it to be like our normal dates, you know. Walking downtown, or just hanging out at her house or taking a drive somewhere. But when I got there, she was crying and told me to sit down. I sat down on the couch and she began to pace in front of me. She told me that she had been cheating on me the entire summer with a different guy. I was crushed, and furious, but she didn't let me express any of that. Because she then began to tell me how she had told the guy never to see her again because she loved me, and the guy threatened to kill her. He was an illtempered dude. Didn't even live around here, just a dumbfuck tourist. So then she ran off and was terrified at that moment that he was going to kill her. I put aside my pain and anger for the moment to wrap my arms around her and tell her that I would protect her and that he wouldn't lay a finger on her." He takes a deep breathe.

"He got her, didn't he?" I squeak softly, tears streaming down my face.

He bites his lip as tears stream down his own, nodding slowly, "He did. I was at home sleeping because it was the middle of the night. It was several weeks since the guy contacted her, so Cynthia was starting to feel a bit more relaxed and so was I. Then I-I... my phone was ringing endlessly at around 3 am. Eventually, I answered it, and it was him. Telling me that if I didn't come to Cynthia's house in less than 3 minutes, that he was going to rape her and then kill her. I was screaming shit at him while I sprinted to my car. I should've fucking called the police, or something, but nope, I was too panicked. I got to her house and she was still alive. I had a brief flash of relief, seeing  her sitting in the love seat in the living room, the one her grandmother gave to her family when she died. But that relief was quickly.... gone, when I realized what was actually going on. Cynthia was tied to the loveseat, covered in a strange liquid.... G-gasoline... And the guy he... threw a match... onto my Cynthia... A-and I tried to get to her, b-b-ut he... He beat the shit out of me and she was screaming my name and I couldn't help her in time and I-I..." He breaks into horrible wails of anguish, burying his face into his hands.

I quickly lunge to his side, rubbing his back and whispering words of comfort inbetween my own sobs, "I'm so sorry, Niall. I really am. Really sorry..." I never imagined his backstory could be as horrible as it actually was, and seeing him like this kills me inside.

"After that, my parents left town because they believed I was a hopeless case. They were ashamed of me for letting her die. So many people thought that I..." His voice cracked, "that I killed her... The guy that actually killed her left town and was never in any trouble.  Cynthia was safe in the grave. The only one left suffering was me... She always loved my singing, so I spent most of my time- and I still do spend most of my time- writing her songs and then I go down there on Sundays to sing them to her." He wipes his face on is sleeve, "I'm sorry I went after your friend. I can't look at anybody without wondering what they're hiding. I can't trust anyone... After... that."

 His shoulders rack with more sobs and I quickly feel guilty for making him tell me all of this. I begin to rub his shoulders, whispering, "It wasn't your fault, Niall. You can't blame yourself for what happened."

I hate myself for making him open up to me. I really do. He's in so much pain right now and it's all my fault. Why did I need an explanation for all of this? We both would've been better off without one. This is the most he's ever said to me in one conversation and it's all fueled by pain. 

I continue to try my best to comfort him as we cry together in that house in the middle of the woods, until the sounds of crickets chirping and the exhaustion from shedding one too many tears has us falling asleep on the couch together.

(this took me a long time to write haha agh. but anyways, the next couple of chapters are going to get very intense ;D vote and comment, love you all)