Broken

Chapter 11

It was the middle of the night, again. I was tired of being tired. The nightmares would never stop, I finally figured that out. I was forced into the life of constant weariness and being haunted by my father. I felt the warmth of the dying fire on my back as I once again faced the darkness. It terrified me every time I forced myself to look at the consuming darkness, but it made me stronger, less afraid. I heard movement behind me and I whipped out my knife and held it up, poised for battle. It turned out to be Cassie. I sighed and strapped my knife back on my leg.

"Girl, if you keep doing that, I'm gonna stab you."

Cassie smiled and plopped down beside me. "What's wrong?"

"I think you know. It's the same reason you're out here."

Cassie hugged her knees and placed her head on my shoulder. Her voice became shaky as she spoke.

"I don't understand why, Bethy."

"You don't understand what?"

"Daddy. Why was he so mean?"

I wished I knew the answer, but I'll probably never know. I replied,

"I don't know. But, the past is the past. We can't see it as something that will hold us back. We need to push forward and try to start over in this crazy world."

Cassie sniffed. "How can I move forward if the past keeps tying me down and hurting me?"

"I'm still trying to figure that out too," I said. "But, it's all mental, so I've heard. And in your brain, you can do anything. Next time, when it ties you down, I'm sure you can use your imagination to get out. I will too."

Cassie took my hand and we sat there in silence, not sure of what to say. I felt Cassie's breaths become slow and steady as she drifted into sleep. I couldn't bring myself to wake her up and talk to her more. More movement shifted behind me and yanked out my knife. The movement stopped.

"It's me, Beth. It's Charles. And, ah, Hank is with me."

"Don't you think it's a little late to be up?" I said quietly.

"We should be asking you that," said Hank gruffly.

"I'm sorry we disturbed you. Do you need something?"

There was a moment of silence before Charles said,

"We want to talk to you."

"About..." I still had my knife out.

"Cut the crap, Beth. Put the knife up so we can talk," said Hank impatiently.

I put my knife back in its place and began stroking Cassie's hair. Hank sat by me and Charles sat by Cassie. I kept looking out at the store, but I could feel their eyes on me.

"Well? What is it?"

Charles said, "We, ah, accidentally-"

"We eavesdropped on your conversation with Cassie just now," interrupted Hank.

I looked at Hank sternly. "You did what?!"

"It was an accident," started Charles. "We were discussing something ourselves and-"

"Get over yourself, Charles," said Hank. "We wanted to hear what you had to say. I still don't trust you yet."

I kept a firm gaze on Hank. "That doesn't mean you have to listen to all my conversations."

"I want to know your past."

"I'm sixteen, you idiot. What do you think I've done? Committed mass murder? Homicide? Robbed a bank?"

"Please, Beth..." Charles said, noticing the flare in Hank's eyes.

My eyes narrowed. "I'll tell you whatever I want to tell you about my past and that's final. You have no right to listen to things that are private."

Hank ignored me. "Your father was abusive."

"I'm not telling YOU anything about my family."

I was beginning to rethink my trust in them. Charles patted my back.

"And that's okay."

Hank stood and looked down on me angrily. "How can I trust you if you don't tell me anything?"

"It's the apocalypse, Hank. You really think I'm going to betray someone who's given me and my sister shelter and protection?"

"People aren't the same as they were, Beth."

I cradled Cassie's sleeping form in my arms and stood.

"Yes. I know. You think I don't know that?"

Charles jumped up quickly and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Beth, listen..."

"Take your hand off of me!" I cried and jerked myself away.

"I thought I could trust you both. But, if you don't learn to trust me with the information you have, I'll never trust you and you'll never learn anything about me and Cassie, understand?"

I didn't wait for an answer. I entered the cardboard house and curled up with Cassie. I heard Charles and Hank whispering. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but I didn't care. I fell asleep without any guilt of what I had said.

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