"Morning," Levi mumbled.
"Morning," Eren replied with a small grin. "Are you a coffee person?"
It was such an awkward question to ask, especially to one's kidnapper. Eren wanted to be polite, after all he practically owned the man his life. Armin was still glaring as if the action of offering his coffee to a criminal was offensive, and it some ways it was.
"Not at all, actually. I like tea better." He leaned awkwardly against the sloppily painted walls with his arms crossed.
"I see. Why don't you have a seat? I'll get some for you."
It was a bit odd how Eren was moving so care free in a house that wasn't his own, and acting like he wasn't on the run with Levi. Armin wasn't breaking eye contact with Levi. The staring wasn't uncomfortable but it sure was getting irritating.
"Look, kid, I don't like this as much as you do. Blame your idiot of a friend," Levi stated as he walked over to take a seat across from Armin. Eren was pretending not to hear as he poured tap water into a kettle.
"You sure are ill-mannered for someone staying in my house," Armin scowled.
"Well, when living on and off the streets you pick up a thing or two on ill manners," Levi mumbled to himself.
"I can tell," Armin shot.
Eren let out a big exasperated sigh as he set the kettle onto the stove and switched it on. One hand was on one hip as he turned around to face the both of them. His eyebrows were furrowed with annoyance.
"Armin, we went over this," Eren said calmly. "I know you're still angry-"
"Of course I'm angry!" he yelled. Levi couldn't tell that he was angry. He resembled like a fired up dog. "You waltz into my home with a total stranger who is wanted by police, what do you expect?"
"Armin, please listen-"
"I'm done of listening. I don't want to argue again so early in the morning. I'm heading to my room."
"Armin, I thought you said you would understand. I thought you were on my side."
"I am on your side, I'm your friend! I just don't have the ability to understand your situation and your reasoning behind all of this." He was a little more calm now, but didn't stop walking down the hall.
"I'm sorry. Maybe I should leave," Levi said and began to get up. Eren ran to his side and eased him back down by pushing on his shoulders.
"It's fine. He doesn't stay mad for too long. Anyway, how are you feeling?" Eren said as he walked over to the stove to switch off the hissing kettle. His slippers slapped against the tile floors loudly.
"I still feel drunk. Did you give me alcohol last night? I can't recall anything," said Levi as he massaged his temples.
Eren froze and almost spilled hot water all over his hand as he poured it into a mug. "Yeah, I did. You wouldn't stop either."
"Hmm, that's odd. I don't like drinking much."
"Is that so? You can't remember anything at all?"
"Correct. Unless, there's something specific that you want me to remember."
"No, nothing. Just curious is all," he said and dunked a tea bag into the mug and brought it to Levi.
"You know, you don't need to be nice to me," Levi told him with a wistful grin.
Eren sat and sipped from his mug, deep in thought. "It's not hard being nice."
"It makes me feel guilty. Maybe if you slapped me or shouted at me from time to time it would make me feel a little better because after all, I've done that to you, haven't I?" Levi asked and cradled his tea.
"Like I said and I will repeat this once more, it's not hard being nice. At least that's what I think. If I want to make it safely back home, the least I could do is not be asshole towards you. I guess I finally figured out that you're not the enemy. You're only trying to help," Eren explained calmly. "You need to stop downgrading yourself like that, you know."
"I'm not downgrading myself, I just feel weird- I can't really explain the feeling," Levi told him with frustration as he held his head between his hands and looked down at the steam floating off the surface of his beverage.
"Okay, if you say so," Eren said. "Lift up your face a bit more, I'll slap you."
Although he knew he was obviously stronger, Levi couldn't help but brace himself internally. He even flinched and closed his eyes and waited for the moment Eren's hand would smack sharply across his cheek. Out of nowhere, he was reminded of Kenny. Whenever Levi got caught stealing anything in convenience stores (by the manager of course, Kenny had encouraged stealing), his uncle would slap him until his face went red. He used to always cry, but stopped when he got used to it. What could a kid expect when living in a world of theft of violence? Definitely not kindness. Once upon a time Levi thought all humans were horrible creatures, even thought some of them were the spawn of the devil himself.
But not Eren. Five seconds passed, then ten then fifteen. Levi opened his eyes slowly only to see Eren place his hand on his cheek tenderly, like he was a sick patient and Eren was the living nurse. He was staring right into his eyes and got a still moment Levi thought maybe something had happened between the both of them that he couldn't wrap around his finger. Lightly, he lifted his palm from his face and patted it, creating a faint slapping sound. Levi, who had a good slap or two, knew that this wasn't what real slaps were like. His hand was resting on his warm face like an embrace, still hot from his coffee.
"You, sir, have been punished," Eren joked, but was quiet as if what he was saying was deadly delicate. His words were like white flower petals.
Levi felt like a baby again. Suddenly, the strong and ASL communicating man did not exist, only a soft shell in his place. He was dumbfounded by such a feeling. Subconsciously, he reached up to put his hand over Eren. If he willed it, he would have gotten up right there and then to hug him. There was just something about him that made him feel a certain way, like eating a new food one would think they would dislike but ending to liking it. But he felt back as if all the force of stars and suns were holding him back. There was a light in the boy's eyes. He no longer hated him. It was almost as if he cared about him.
"That was barely anything."
"That's the point. Hurting you won't change anything, right? I don't mean to sound offensive but I'm going to be frank; you're violent, Levi." It was the first time Eren had addressed him by using his name. The room suddenly felt deprived from all heat. He shivered subconsciously. "I don't want to assume things, but perhaps you learned that violence is the only way to settle things, but it's not."
His hand was still cupping his face delicately, but Levi could feel his hand beginning to slip away. Levi didn't want it to; shame flooded his mind when he realized that he just wanted to stay in that moment frozen forever, like a photograph. Or record it and play it over and over again. There was never the thought of liking girls in his mind, but he would have never guessed that he would feel a certain towards a man either. He didn't even know what he was feeling or if this was stupid and wrong crush or not.
No matter what the reason may be, he knew that he was going to have to give up many things.
AN:
summer break is coming up so hopefully I'll have more time to work on this fic!
much love,
takeshi
Chapter 13: Give
Start from the beginning
