Vikings: Imagine you and ...

Imagine Hvitserk taking a bet over you - III

Words: 1885

Your world had crumbled down, your first instinct of insecurity kicked in with an even stronger handle over your heart. You were scared, scared from the people who smiled at you, scared from the people who didn't. Since you heared Hvitserk say you were all a bet to him you didn't saw clear again. All those years you protected your heart so well, you locked it tight up so it wouldn't be harmed. Your whole insecurity was build as a defensive wall for your own feelings and precious heart. You knew from yourself you weren't that stable, you didn't talk much to others, weren't that social and you kept yourself at a distant. But Hvitserk, he walked right pass all that protection, unlocked your heart and for the first time in years you felt free, you felt a small hint of happiness and you started to love a boy who maybe wasn't yours to love. But you couldn't resist, you felt weak with every look he gave at you, you felt warm with every stroke his fingers maked and after that night ... you thought you wouldn't never be happier again. But it was like a piece of glass, shattering on the ground into thousand pieces, that was what you felt. It left you crying in the darkest corners of Kattegat, not wanting to go back to that cabin the woods. Because your safe haven was no longer your safe spot, you shared it with him and you knew he would be there waiting for you. So you traveled out of Kattegat, leaving your house, leaving your work, trying to leave the sadness he caused.

You lived in Hedeby, Lagertha's grounds. She offered you a job as a farmgirl and didn't asked you why you looked like that, so saddened, so broken down. You just did your job, always looking over your shoulder for any sign of Hvitserk, or his brothers but it didn't came for days and weeks. Every night, when you layed curled up around your sheets again you thought of him, his reassuring smile, his warm touch, his soft words. He treated you with so much care and respect that you never thought he would do you any harm, but he did. And every time again you cried yourself to sleep knowing you where just a bet. You looked over your shoulder from the hay to Björn who leaned in on Torvi, saying something that maked her giggle. Your stomach turned over by the thought that Hvitserk had done the same, that you laughed on the same soft way. You turned your eyes back to your work, pulling in the hay for the winter that had to come. You didn't know how long you were working on that, the sweat transparent on your forehead and you hardly had the strenght in your arms anymore. But it was better than working in the smith, better than getting hit by your boss. Lagertha was good to you, she was friedly but kept you at a distance and that was exacly what you needed. You walked out of the shed, straight for some water.
'Y/n?' You turned around out of reflex and frooze when you looked right up to him ... Hvitserk, together with his eldest brother on horses. He said something against his brother while jumping from his horse. You turned around and started running, already feeling the tears leaving your eyes. Maybe you needed to be angry on him, kick him in the face or something but it was something you never used before and wouldn't use in the future. 'Y/n!' He grabbed you with your elbow.
'Please let me go.' You didn't snapped, you were more begging him to let you go, a sight he hardly could look at. His fingers softened around your elbow, not wanting to harm you but neither wanting you to go. You kept your eyes to the ground, looking at his feet rather than his face.
'What are you doing here? You just left without letting me explain myself.' He wanted to touch you, badly, he moved his hand up but lowered it when your pulled back.
'Please let me go.' You whispered again, slowly showing him your misarble wet face.
'Y/n, please, can we just talk.'
'Hvitserk.' You murmured. His fingers slipped away from your elbow and as soon as you were free you walked away, not looking back, not even doubting the choose you just maked. He never could repair what he had broke, you weren't even sure if you could repair yourself. Stupid girl, that was what you were.

The four days after his visit you stayed in bed, sick, heartbroken and not being able to move. The month had ticked away so slowly, the days even worse. The small knock on your door lifted your head from the pillow. Lagertha walked in with one of her servants. 'You are not working.' She stated the obvious. You looked down, getting out of the bed with a pale face, not trying to grab to the bucket to trow over again. 'Are you feeling well?' She asked, a little concerned maybe.
'No, not really. I'm sick I think.' You tried to force a smile on your lips, looking up to her.
'What do you feel? Tired? Nauseous?' She asked. You nodded and Lagertha looked to the servant cleaning up your mess. It wasn't that bad, you just didn't take much care of yourself like you used to. 'Pregnant maybe?' She guessed, with a tilted head. You felt you breakfeast coming up, running for the bucket to trow up in. This couldn't be true, this was impossible. How could you be pregnant after one time? Everything before your eyes started to dance, imagining yourself as a lonely mother, working for her child. Or giving birth ... you felt scared. But what even scared you more was that it was Hvitserk his child ... at least, if you where pregnant. 'Who is the father y/n?' Lagertha asked almost polite. You turned away from the bucket were you sat before and pulled your slim body back up on the wall.
'Nobody.' You simply answered. Nobody needed to know that Hvitserk was the father, or that he maked you pregnant over a bet.
'Being a single mother isn't easy, if the father is around you may need him.'
'Isn't their task to just raid and provide.'
'Yes exacly, if nobody is providing for you when your child need you the most, how long will you live. I will help you, ofcourse but ...' She felt silent and you looked at the beautifull braids through her hair.
'It's Hvitserk.' You whispered.
'Ragnar's son?' She asked confused. You nodded and looked down to the ground, scared of the opinion she was planning on giving. You saw her feet closing in on you before you felt her light touch uner your chin. You looked up to her and steadied your look in her eyes. 'They all have something from their father, Ragnar never was a bad husband or a bad father, he loved his childeren with all his heart. I believe those sons can to. It's up to you.' She encouraged you. You nodded and Lagertha looked to the bed. 'Take the time you need, being pregnant isn't easy.' She smiled before walking out. Leaving you with the hardest descission, telling Hvitserk our not.

After a couple of days you felt good enough to do some light work outside. You were handing the horses some hay when heared riders approace. 'Brothers!' Björn greeted them. You tensed, looking how the horse came in eyesight, three of them, three brothers, all except for Ivar. You kept standing against the stable watching how Hvitserk came from his horse and greeting his brother. But as soon as he did that his eyes traveled around, looking for you. You didn't hide yourself, you felt a shivering down your spine when his eyes finally locked with yours. His eyes asked you if he could come and you softly nodded. He gave the reins to his brother and walked into the stables. You looked back to the ground, in an instinct while he closed in on you.
'Y/n, you look terrible.' He noticed softly. You grabbed all of your courage and looked up again.
'We maybe need to talk.' You whispered unsteady, already walking to somewhere where it was a little quiet.
'Can I explain?' He asked as soon as you turned back to him again. You leaned against the wall of the shed and nodded slowly. He came closer to you, wanted to touch something of you but held back on your wish. 'At first it was a game, Ivar and Sigurd challenged me and I just couldn't resist. But when I really met you, after that kiss, after the day next and the day after that I fell for you. Y/n, this never was a bet for me after meeting you.' He explained. You felt your knees getting weak under his words, holding on to the wall so he wouldn't notice it. 'I looked days for you.' He whispered, pulling out his hand and softly wiped away the tear that runned down your cheek. You closed your eyes under his touch. 'I would never harm you, not even in that way. You have to believe me.' The fact that you didn't pulled back encouraged him. He stepped closer, standing right in front of you while his hand cupped your cheek. You leaned in on it, missing him was maybe the most of your heartbreak.
'I need to tell you something.' You began, opening your eyes to look back to him. He laid his other hand in your neck, his touch warming you on the inside. 'I think I'm pregnant.' You whispered scared. His studied the fear in your eyes for a moment before he pulled you in an embrace. You folded your fingers to fists against his chest, embracing the feeling over how much you missed him.
'Please come home again, let me take care of you. I will make whatever pain you got right again.' He whispered into your ear, pressing a kiss against your hair. 'Let me be the father of this child.' He placed his lips against your temple and you shivered under his touch. But the feeling you got over the days, weeks, it stucked inside your body, thinking that this maybe was also a lie from him, that it was another bet. You doudthed everything he said, how sencere they may looked. But being in his embrace, you never felt more safe than you did now.
'Hvitserk I,'
'Y/n,' he intterupted you gently, pulling your chin up so you had to look at him again. 'I love you, please believe me.' He said so softly, broken down under the pain you showed. But everything in his eyes was honest, true and you slowly nodded.
'You can be the father.' You whispered, hardly loud enough. He smiled, the smiled you missed over the days and weeks. He lowered his head, placing his lips on yours. You embraced both his hands that laid against your face and closed your eyes, imagining that everything would be just alright, that you would get better again, that he could fix your heart.