Imagine Ubbe keeping you safe without really showing it - III

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You drifted a little between two different worlds, for days now. You felt like fighting a fever but it had also something pleasing, something so calm and gentle almost. You had dreams you never had before and there was nothing disturbing you from it. Dreams in witch you had a child, a healthy baby boy you rocked into your arms to sleep, who you sang lullabies to. And when you finally got him to sleep a set of arms sneaked around you from behind. A beard tickling your naked shoulder while he rested his head on your shoulder, looking down on your son. When you looked aside you looked into the most gorgeous sparkling eyes you never saw before. And he told that little baby boy over the gods, despite he was sleeping. And it was the most fulfilling feeling you ever had in your life. You wanted to stay in that kind of dream, because it was perfect. But than the pain pulled you out, bringing you to a more restless state of sleeping. You felt your body shiver under the pressure, under the pain of it all. You felt the soft drops of sweat burning over your body, sliding down your cheek. And then there was the cold on your forehead and it brought you back to peace. How much you wanted to open you eyes, you couldn't, your body didn't let you and maybe you didn't wanted to. Knowing you would return to that perfect dream again.

When your body finally gave you some permission to move and life you forced your eyes open, squeezing them together because of the light. You looked to trees, to the leaves crossing the sunlight so it fell down in sparks onto you. You where in a forest? You heared sounds, talking, moving, you heared a lot of things you didn't understand. So you tried to think back on what happened. It felt like years ago that you saved Ubbe from that arwfull large man. You remembered the axe, the power you put into your arms when you swung it down into his body. Not thinking of his reaction you thought you saved a life, you thought you saved Ubbe. You did, but with a cost. The man had turned around, slitting his sword over your stomach, leaving you to bleed when he died. More you didn't really remember, except for that wonderfull dream. You turned your head slowly to the left, looking to vikings sitting around a fire, they were laughing about something. You looked back up and to the right. You saw a bucket, blood soaked fabrics laying over it. You forced your head a little more and saw him, sitting right beside you. His head rested just aside your waist, eyes closed, sleeping. You wanted to smile so badly but your lips didn't want to move. He was still here, he lived and he looked healthy. At least you didn't got hurt for nothing. You moved your fingers a little, stroking his hair in the possible way you could. He didn't wake, he moved his head a little, as a reaction on your touch but more than that didn't happen.
'Ubbe.' Your voice sounded soft, cracky and tired. You moved your fingers again and he reacted. He opened his eyes, sleepy, turned his head to look at your stomach before he finally looked to your face. He maked contact with your eyes and the disbelief slowly started to spread over his face.
'Y/n?' He got up, crouching down right besides you head, laying his fingertips with a soft touch against your cheek. You closed your eyes again, absorbing the feeling he currently gave you, how light is even was. A tear left you eye, he stroke it away with his thumb. 'I thought you never would wake up again.' He said emotinal himself. You lifted you hand in the way you could, laying it on his arm.
'I'm fine.' You tried to press out.
'You're not. I'm so mad at you, you have no idea.' He reacted. He stroked your hair, left his hand flat on your forehead.
'You don't seem mad.' You tried to force the corner of your mouth up but it didn't really moved much. So you contained the touch he gave you, the fact that you were alive and not dreaming.
'I'm happy to see you awake.' He forced a smile on his lips. You nodded, looking at him while he was looking at you. It took for more than a minute, watching each other. 'By the gods y/n, why did you do that.' He broke down in the little anger that laid hidded after his concern. You looked away, to the leafs and the beautifull strains of sunlight again. You felt ashamed, maybe he was ashamed, agry that you saved him despite the fact he may won that battle. But from your point of vieuw it looked like a defeat and you didn't want him to die.
'I didn't want you to die.' Your voice sounded raspy, turning your head slowly back to him.
'And you almost died in return.' He said angry. You closed your eyes again, nodding on his words, scared that nothing would bet he same again after what you did.
'It's better than the future king of Kattegat dying.'
'Don't say that,' he protested. His fingers stroke over your forehead and forced your eyes open again. He was looking at you, his eyes soft, calm again. 'You have no idea what I should have done if you died. There is a reason why I didn't want you to come y/n.' He whispered. You studied his face, felt disapointed by the reminding of that conversation.
'Because I would run in the way.' You remembered his words, looking away to the trees again. Maybe that dream was just a dream, maybe it was better to stay in it, instead of living this kind of life again.
'No, Y/n, look at me.' Ubbe commanded you calm. You tried to keep the tears back but they troubled your eyes when you turned your head back to him. 'I love you, I always have. Keeping you safe was always my first priority. When I didn't found you that night I thought that you where already gone, dead. The only reason you are still alive is because you told me how to take care of Sigurd when you couldn't.' He explained. The tears started running again, a feeling of relief freed your body of his tension. 'You couldn't come because I don't wanted to loose you.' He brought his head closer. Placing a kiss on your forehead. You tightened your grip around his wrist, closing your eyes in the feeling. Thinking you where a no one really fed your uncertainty, hearing him say he loved you released that feeling, maked you heart beat even stronger. He pulled back, hardly inches and you looked up in his eyes.
'Keeping you safe was mine. I'm sorry if I dissapointed you.' You whispered in that cracky voice.
'You didn't, just promise to don't do that again.' He said with a loving unstable smile himself.
'Promise.' You answered. He place his lips on yours, so soft, so carefull that it was hardly felt.

After two days staying in the forest Ubbe desided that the wounded where enough recovered to travel. You where the only one who wasn't able to walk but you were stable enough to at least travel. So they found an old horse that pulled a carriage where they layed you on. You always had a vieuw of the sky, the stars, everything. When you looked aside Ubbe walked beside the carriage, talking to his brother. Sigurd nodded, threw you a neutral look before he ran to the front of the group. 'He still don't likes me.' You noticed. Ubbe looked aside and smiled.
'It's his speciality, disliking people. How do you feel?' He asked concerned. You looked down to your own stomach, at least you could move again.
'I can move again.' As a demostration you pushed a little up on your elbows, looking aside to him. He only shook his head.
'Don't be the hero for the time being. You have a long way to go before I let you come on raids again.'
'Wasn't planning to.' You dropped back down, gazing to the sky. 'Will you? Let me come again?' You asked him carefull, looking aside to him. He drown a moment into his own toughts. 'Ubbe?'
'Maybe.' He finally said.
'I won't put myself in that kind of danger again.' You promised him. He chuckled and looked aside to you.
'So you are saying that if I'm in the same situation again you won't try to safe me?' He asked amused.
'Maybe.' You reacted, looking away because he was laughing.
'Maybe I find in Kattegat something to do.' You murmured for yourself.
'I will gave you plenty to do, if that is what you want.' He winked. You looked at him, mouth a little open. What was he saying with that?

You never felt more relieved than now, arriving in Kattegat again. All the families, the wifes, the childeren where happy to see their sons and husbands again. But you had nothing, no husband, no childeren, even no parents. Only that old farm with the sheeps, maybe they would be happy to see you again at least. Ubbe leaded the old horse over the path to the farm. You felt hollow in that little travel up there, not knowing what you had to do next with your life. The attack, the wound you had left his marks, without a doubt the next raid would scare you. You pushed up on your elbows and looked to the five sheep running over a little paddock. It was a sad grinn you showed them before the old horse stopped and Ubbe walked over to you.
'That is not a happy face.' He noticed. You looked away from the sheep back to him.
'What do I have to do now?' You asked him. You couldn't properly walk, you couldn't work, how did you have to spend your days recovering from this? And after that? Ubbe pulled you in his arms, you wrapped an arm around his neck and groaned a little under the pain it caused. He kicked the door open and carried you inside.
'I'm not leaving you, if that is what you think will happen.'
'You can't be here constanly. You have duties Ubbe.'
'Yes and for now are my duties with you.' He reassured you. You let your eyes lower to his chest, feeling guiltly already for taking so much time from him. 'Y/n, look at me.' He said softly. You looked up to him again, intens eyes looking down on you. 'I love you, I meant that, I will prove that.' He repeated his words from days ago. You nodded, brought your hand up and stroked his cheek, holding on to his beard. He brought his face closer and you placed your lips on his. More awake than days ago this kiss was so much different. He carefully let go of your legs so you stood before him, ignoring any pain you may felt. He cupped your face with one hand while his other rested on you lower back. That kiss was everything, everything you dreamed of, everything you wished for, everything you longed. It was perfect.  

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