Snippets of Color

EXPECTATIONS

"You can be the happiest person on the Earth"
they tell her
but they are unaware of the things that stir beneath her skin and bones
and they don't really care to look
The only thing they want to see
is her breathtaking beauty and astounding intelligence
and they believe that's all there is
But behind the majesty of truth and success
lies the doubt and weakness that wants to tear it all apart
Her brain eats away at her body
and her body eats away at her brain
It's a constant struggle of which one comes to the top
though it is expected that she be both beautiful and intelligent
so she lets the war rage on
even though it's slowly picking away at her entire existence
The weight over her head is beginning to pile up
but for now, she ignores it
there are much more important things to worry about
She is unaware of how wrong she is

She feels that her chest is about to burst
it keeps filling with words and pleas
begging to be released
She keeps swallowing her fears and doubts
and it's building up beneath her windpipe
Her head is full of failure and persistence
so she stops thinking to silence the chaos
Her stomach is full of standards and expectations
so she stops eating to soothe the pain
But confidence and determination are the key to success
so she carves those words into her skin
and as she watches the failure bleed out
she hopes to be cleansed from the weakness she has inside her
and then she gets up
though her arms and legs are tired
but she has to keep moving
for her, there is no other choice
She looks wearily at the growing weight over her head
and she's afraid that one day she won't be able to carry it
But for now, she continues forward

How does anything matter
when you fail to be the one people have seen you to be?
They scratch and claw and rip you apart
and expect you to build yourself back up
to mold yourself into the image they want
All she can hear is the screaming
pushing her to do so much more
so much more
so much more
and she will do anything to keep up
though it's sometimes impossible to do so
The wind is picking up speed
but she pushes against it with all she has
It cuts her skin and freezes her fingers
but she can't stop, not now
not after she's gotten so far
not after she's fought for so much
She just wants to let go of it
but something moves her forward
perhaps the fear of failure
or the acceptance she's chasing
Her body aches and she's tired
but champions don't give up
The weight over her head is threatening to give in any second
and she's starting to think about letting it fall

How tragic it is
she was so beautiful in the beginning
and she really could have been the happiest person on Earth
But she listened to the voices
that wanted to build her up and praise her
but they only tore her apart
and created expectations of the impossible
She had so much potential in her body
but they turned it all against her
now everything she had is gone
and they turn their heads in disgust
She's a failure in their eyes
though they are the ones that failed her
They are unaware of the damage they have done
but they wouldn't care even if they knew
"You have to be stronger than that" they would say
as they walk away with the shame left behind in their footprints
The weight grew to be too much for her
and in the end
she let it all go
hoping they would forgive her for the crimes she committed
but instead, they lost all of their hope for her
there is no more potential swirling beneath her skin and bones
and now she has nothing left