Snippets of Color

LITTLE SISTER

You're shooting bullets from your mouth
but they're not aimed at me
you're aiming at him on the other end of the phone
not me, your little sister in her room
who's covering her ears
to block out your angry screams
and heartbroken cries
but somehow
the bullets still pierce me

I'm not a little girl anymore
but I feel like I'm five years old
hiding in my room so you don't see the tears running down my face
because I'm scared
I know how much you're hurting
we can all see it, you know?
I've heard you crying in your room the first time you left him
then you bursted through the front door the second time
by the third time, I thought it was all over
but here you are now, hurting worse and worse every day
these phone calls are reoccurring
I've just never been around to hear them

I used to wonder why you stick around
but now I know

"I can't leave"

you know it's not working out
you know this is unhealthy
you know you need to move on
you just don't know how

Did you forget I was here?
do you think I don't know what's going on?
I'm not five years old
I know what's happening
his car is in the driveway
and it's 3 in the morning
I can hear you outside
your loud angry voice
and his soft soothing one
he's trying to make you stay
and I know it's going to work
I'm just scared
because you're digging yourself deeper and deeper
and one day
I'm afraid you won't be able to get back out
I just need you to realize
he's not worth it
you're still so young
you have your whole life ahead of you
and he already has his life together
you can't stop it all for him

------------------------------------------

Did you forget
about your little sister?
She's on the floor in her room
with her window cracked open
listening to your muffled words outside
just in case something bad happens
Did you forget
about your little sister?
she's looked up to you her whole life
you were strong for her when she couldn't be 
you were there during her darkest days
and you were there during her sunniest
But right now your little sister is scared
Because she's not so little anymore
she wants to be strong for you
because you're crying in the living room
he's gone now, but you're still hurting
your little sister feels worthless
because when you need her the most
she can't even move
she's still on the floor with the lights turned off
crying quietly so you can't hear her
you little sister is scared
because you're still crying
and she can't do anything 
except listen

Your little sister is scared for you
because seeing you fall apart like that
makes her think that nothing is okay
she's already afraid of a lot of things
and now she's afraid of love