Snippets of Color

the days to come

I see you again months later, after spring's sunny days, summer's hot evenings and autumn's chilly mornings have gone by. We exchanged a few words in a few conversations about a few topics that would have once been normal, but now felt empty and meaningless. I look into your eyes for the first time in so long, but it doesn't feel like it used to. Your eyes seem to be filled with something else, something different, something I don't know. It makes me sad. I want to know when and how and why we stopped seeing each other and I want to know why you let it happen. I want to know when and how and why we stopped talking to each other and I want to know why I let it happen. We're inseparable, we're unstoppable, don't you remember? If you do, then why are we doing this? Why does it hurt every time I walk past you and you don't look my way? Why does it feel like you have had more important things to do than talk to me? I feel nothing looking at you now, except for bittersweet longing for the days before. I want to say it's not too late to fix things. I want hear you laugh and hear you talk. I want to tell you about my day and the stupid shit that people do. I want to be near you again. I want to beg you to come back, to make things the way they used to be. I miss you, isn't it obvious in the way I smile without my eyes, the way I talk without my laugh, the way I stand without facing you? Do you miss me as well? Is that why you left? Is that that why your words are rushing out of your mouth and you keep fidgeting? It hurts so terribly, a hole has been ripped from my side and I'm afraid it will never heal. I can feel the time stretch thinner the longer I stay, so I smile but it feels painful. I walk away, and you do too, but can't feel the connection snap because it was never there. I miss you I miss you I miss you and I hope one day you'll realize the mistake you made. I hope one day I'll be able to handle the pain of losing you. But most of all, I hope one day you come back to me.