[Black Hell] Chapter Nine: C-Rank Mission

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"It better be a C-Rank one!" Kato grumbled.

'What a dysfunctional team,' Naruto thought.

"Oh, for Kami's sake, shut up!" Mishi yelled, finally losing her cool.

Sasuke grunted, making Sakura squeal and give her speech again. Kakashi giggled perversely at his Icha Icha, making Kushina give him a threat.

'What a dysfunctional team, indeed,'


"Dad! I want a C-Rank Mission, now!" Kato whined. The Hokage rubbed his temples and stared at his son for a long time.

". . .what do you think, Kakashi, Kushina-chan?" Minato asked his student.

"Sensei, I think they are ready," Kakashi voiced out his and Kushina's opinion. "They'll also need some experience outside the village, not cooped up in the safety of Konoha,"

Minato nodded at his student's reasoning. "Okay," Minato straightened out the files and picked one. "Rika-san, please send Tazuna in,"

An old man entered the office, instantly filling the room with the smell of alcohol. True enough, there was a bottle of sake grasped within the man's hands.

'C-Rank? I heard Gato was. . .ah, they didn't have any money left to afford a B-Rank or an A-Rank one,' Naruto mused, his cerulean blue eye (he has a bandaged one, remember? :) If not, read the Prologue and Chapter One) scanning the appearance of the man before them.

The said man looked uncomfortable at the stare, but brushed the feeling away. "Oh, what's this? I get a scarecrow, an old woman," Kushina got a tick mark on. Luckily, Kakashi stopped her before she lunged at their client. "An emo, a useless pink fangirl, a stupid blond, a weak redhead," Sasuke, Kato, Sakura, and Mishi glared at the man.

"Don't make fun of Sasuke-kun!" Sakura yelled, angry at the man for making fun of her precious soon-to-be-boyfriend, or at least that what she thinks.

"Oh? And there's another idiotic blond moron here," he added, but soon regretted it as the temperature in the room dropped a few degrees.

Kushina cracked her knuckles, but before she could pulverize their client to the ground, there was a flash. Naruto stood in front of the old man, a kunai held against his throat. Chuckling, the blond pressed a finger against the man's lips.

"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Kindly shut up,
Before I kill you,"

Tazuna visibly gulped in fear, trembling at the amount of chakra—which he had mistaken for killing intent—the blond released. He froze suddenly, taking notice of the blond's cold, calculating blue eye.

"Naruto," Minato tried to get his attention, which turned out to be a success. Naruto gave the Hokage a single glance, and flashed back to his position.

"Okay," Minato coughed awkwardly. "This is Tazuna, and he needs escort towards the Land of Waves,"

"Yeah," Tazuna slurred slightly. "And you better protect me with your lives,"

'So I was right,'

'Right about what, kit?'

'Gato's after Tazuna, since he's building the bridge which could lead into the Land of Waves's prosperity. Gato's a greedy midget, he'd do anything to prevent that. He's playing dirty tricks, so he must've sent a few ninja's after us,' Naruto elaborated, earning a nod from the fox in his mindscape.

"Meet you at the gates in an hour," Kakashi gave them a smile and shunshined away. Naruto sighed, jumping out the window and began to run towards his house.


Clothes, check. Water, check. Food, check. Scrolls, check. Books, check. Weapons—where's my twin swords? Naruto thought as he rummaged through his house, in search for his favorite blades. There. Weapons, check. First aid kit, check. Tent, check. Sleeping bag, check. What else?

The blond rechecked all his things before sealing them in a scroll. The scroll was unfortunately stuffed into the backpack of his, that contained a few shurikens and kunais in case he ran out. The scenario itself was highly unlikely, but who knows? Better safe than sorry.

'Let's go, kit. It has been forty-nine minutes since you've packed. Seriously, you've grabbed a thousand weapons already.'

'I forgot the poison, Kura!' Naruto exclaimed, grabbing a few vials of green, violet, and purple substances and placing most of them in a scroll and the others in his pocket. 'There, we can go now,'

Kurama sighed. His jinchūriki was such a sadist. Naruto may have been spending too much time with either him or Ibiki and Anko. Or possibly a bit of both.

'Okay. Call me when you need me,'


"Where is he?" Mishi asked her mother, who was ready to strangle the absent silver-haired nin. Kakashi decided to show up late, much to his team's and client's displeasure.

"Reading, I guess," Kushina turned sour at the thought of the Icha Icha. "Don't worry, Mish, I'll make sure to make him suffer," The Red Death grinned, laughing in an insane way. Everyone—except Tazuna, who backed away from the woman—sweatdropped at her actions.

'Sadistic woman,' The thought crossed everyone's minds as they patience started growing thin. Must the famed Copycat be so late on everything?!

"Yo!" Smoke covered the place. Once it was blown away by a Wind Jutsu, courtesy of Naruto, it revealed the perpetually late Hatake Kakashi.

"I'm sorry I'm late, a black cat crossed my path and I had to take the longer way around—"

"Shut. Up. Kakashi-kun," said Kushina sweetly, cracking her knuckles. "Be late one more time, Kakashi-kun, and I'll burn all your Make-Out Paradise books one by one in front of you,"

Kakashi gulped in fear, bobbing his head as he backed away, choosing to hide behind a tree. Their client shook his head.

"Am I seriously going to be safe here?" Tazuna muttered to himself, but Naruto heard the question.

"Nope," replied Naruto. "We have a sadistic redhead, a scarecrow pervert, an arrogant emo, a pink fangirl, an unpredictable blond, a calm redhead, and me,"

Tazuna sighed once again, regretting why he ever came to this village in the first place. He was such in a hurry, Gato's men were tailing after him and the closest place was Konoha.

Oh well, what's done is done.

* * * * *
I tried my best. *scratches head sheepishly*

P.S. I was supposed to update earlier than this, but our internet decided to be an ass and not function properly. -.-

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