Recluse

Chapter 11

I don't reply, just walk back to my bed and sit facing away from him.

I jump slightly when I hear his voice much closer to me than it was seconds ago, "Are you gonna talk to me about this?"

I scoff, rolling my eyes, "What is there to talk about?"

"Obviously something." he mumbles.

"Why would you think that?"

"There are tears on your pillow." He comments softly.

I don't respond, just continue to keep my gaze on the wall.

I flinch forward when he rests a hand on my back. My heart begins to race and I mentally slap myself. He doesn't care for you. He cares for Cynthia. You're just his distraction. My subconscious screams at the naive little girl who believes that this recluse actually cares for her.

"Are you afraid of me?" He asks and I almost laugh. Is that hurt in his voice? Actual hurt?

Niall sits down beside me with a sigh and forces me to face him. Aw shit. I feel like I'm melting under his beautiful gaze. The naive-lovestruck side of me is winning, pushing all sense of reason and common sense away. I shouldn't give in to him after the horrible things he said. But I want to.

"Are you?" He presses again, eyes actually alit with worry for my answer.

"N-no I'm not." I breathe out.

He tries to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, "Then why are you-"

I slap his hand away, "Don't touch me."

"Just let me-" He tries to put a hand on mine but I slap him again.

"Stop, okay!"

"Madison, please." I'm about to yell at him again, but I stop myself this time. His eyes are glowing in pain and desperation, in a way I've never seen before. I realize that my rejection has stung him.

So I sigh and lay back down on my bed, "Listen closely, alright? You can't just say those horrible things to me and then come running here to distract yourself from your miserable life. You can't do that. I deserve better, okay? I don't want to fall for someone who's only using me."

My heart manages to accelerate when he lays down beside me, "I'm not using you."

"Yes you are. While I'm falling for you, you're still in love with her." I can't hold back in my tears any longer. I continue blabbering, "I know that you loved her and I know what happened to her was horrible. I feel like a selfish bitch for thinking thoughts like this because obviously she didn't deserve to die that way but I can't help but feel envy that you'll always love her and never me. That's just the way it is and I hate how upset it makes me feel. I know it's horrible but it's the truth."

"Baby, I-"

"Don't call me that and get your fucking hands off of me." I snap as he tries to trace a thumb across my cheek. He pulls his hand back with a frown.

"Why are you being so touchy and lovey right now anyways? Gonna bribe me or something?" I hiss.

He sighs, "I know I deserve all of this, but please just listen for two seconds."

I raise my eyebrows at him with a sniffle, "Listening."

Niall sighs, looking down at his hands, fingers nervously wrapped around his thumb, "I didn't mean a word I said. I just said it to get you to leave me alone."

"Why would you-"

"Listen, please." He interupts with a nervous smile. I shut my mouth and he continues, "I only made you leave because I was mad at myself..."

When he doesn't continue, I press on, "For?"

He connects his gaze back to mine with a sigh, "Making me fall in love again. Even harder than the first time. After I swore to myself that I never would again."

My heart is racing as is my mind. I'm looking into his clear blue eyes for some sort of sign that this is a trick, a joke, a sarcastic remark, but no. All I see is the truth. Affection for me shines in their depths and soon my lips are stretched into a wide smile. He loves me. He really does.

My mind jumps a step back and lets my heart take the wheel. Without really thinking it through, I put my hands on the back of his neck and crash my lips onto his.

(i was gonna make this the really intense chapter, but we'll just have to save that for Chapter 12 ;D get ready. Anyways sorry for taking so long to update! So much school work lately! And Netflix has been distracting me as well. Does anyone else watch AHS? Love that ha. Sooooo vote and comment!)