Obstacles

Chapter 11

Possible trigger warning. In this chapter there will be self harm.
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I shut the door gently, too scared of being scolded for "slamming it shut." I turned around my lip quivering and leaned against the door. Shock from what had just happened is slowly wearing off.

    I slid down slowly until I was sitting on the floor. I pulled my legs up to my chest as close as I could without it hurting like hell, and wrapped my face in my shaking hands.

I sat in that same exact spot crying. "Maybe dad is right...maybe I am a huge screw up, and I just can't do anything right." I quietly stated to myself. A tear leaked between my fingers and landed gently onto my knee.

After a moment more of sobbing I looked around the room until my eyes landed on my bathroom door. Quietly I slowly stood up looking at the door. I locked the doorknob than made my way to the bathroom, tears running down my currently paler then usual's face.

I opened up a drawer next to where I keep my towels and pulled out my razor blade I stole from the new package my father bought. I sat down in front of the sink cabinets and held the blade firmly between my fingers.

"Why am I put through this abuse?" I cried to myself. My hands shook as I lifted the blade.

"Why am I stuck in his living hell?" Slice. I cut once and winced slightly from the pain. The blood trickled out of it slowly.

"Dad's right...I'm nothing but a pathetic bastard." I cut once more. The blood from the first cut is close to dripping onto the floor.

    "My mom isn't even around anymore and it's all my fault..." I glided the blade through my blood covered surface.

I felt the blade rip through my flesh. The red liquid began to drip slowly off my skin onto the floor. With every negative thought I had a new cut was made. I kept cutting until I ran out of room on my left wrist. I promptly switched the hand the blade was in and continued my antics. Crossing newer ones and opening the old scars on both arms.

With every cut my mind relaxed slightly as though the blood coming from within it was going to rid the pain I constantly feel.

"Why can't I just-" I heard my phone's alert go off. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion and put the bloody blade down on the bathroom counter. I wiped away tears with my bloodied wrists leaving blood streaks on my cheeks.

I walked over to my bed, my wrists still bleeding. The blood ran down my wrists onto my hand, but I don't care. I got down on all fours and began to move the boxes out of the way. I pulled out my phone and saw it was a notification from Abby.

"I swear this was on silent." I mumble to myself confused. I unplugged my phone and pulled the charger out of the outlet.

The text read:

Hey Kora!

I texted back:

Hi!

I moved the boxes back where they belonged and than walked back over to the bathroom. I carefully cleaned my new cuts and tossed my blade aside.

I applied pressure to the cuts to make them stop bleeding. As the water rained down and danced upon my cuts, it made a short stinging pain. As I did so the water turned into a light shade of red.

I grabbed a dirty, dark colored towel and began to apply pressure to my cuts once more. My phone went off again.

~

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